Saturday, June 24, 2017

Where am I?

I really want a unicorn for my yard. I'm an adult. I should be able to pull that off.

My low/angry points in my hormone cycle essentially boil down to my hormones getting the best of my sense of humor.

I'm getting better at connecting to the natural world around me. This is because my head is out of my own butt most of the time and I'm taking the time to stay in one place. Taking the time to fall in love.

If the human race would all agree to stop with the constant showering and soaping we would all be a lot more human to each other and mind it a whole lot less.

I don't like having my base reality disrupted. It's easier to bear when it is for my children or a very fun activity. Even then it puts me well off balance for a long time.  Like I need to reset, which is accomplished by not being disrupted for awhile. This sounds like I'm describing basic introversion but I don't think that's it. Socializing with random persons who fit inside my base reality is joyful for me. I want to talk to people in my neighborhood, in my ymca, in my grocery store, in my church. I'm not always good at it,  but I like it and it doesn't disrupt me. It's going to a different neighborhood, a different ymca, a different grocery store (I shudder at that one) that I dislike.
Guess I'm a status quo homebody with classic human control issues. I'm hoping that more aging will bring with it more wisdom and I will get over this need to control.

Marley picked up a printed portion of my blog last week, it was written around the time she was 1, she read a bit and said, "This is hilarious." I told her she could read it all when she was 18.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Not home yet

I read about the Hebrews enslaved in Egypt, their suffering and oppression. I read about God's facilitating their escape, their subsequent bad behavior and their punishment to roam the desert for 40 years before their progeny is allowed to enter the promised land.
I know this is a parallel of what God has done for each believer through Jesus. But sometimes I forget that I'm not a Hebrew in the Promised Land. I'm in the desert. This isn't my final destination. I am walking with my family, free from slavery but not free from life's harms.

Sunday, June 11, 2017


Solomon came rushing into the house to tell me he had found large onions growing wild in the yard. He dug up four and cleaned them with great care before I looked closely and saw they were flower bulbs. He was so happy to have provided onions and to have discovered something. I was sad to tell him what they were. I'm thankful to be his mom.

We are finishing up two weeks of no scheduled activities. It was wonderful.
Back to "work". Which is also a joy.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Falling out of love

I use to think falling out of love was actually real. Before the understanding of what love actually is and that I can only choose to stop being in love; choose to stop acting in love if someone stops acting lovable. Which I think everyone stops acting lovable, at least every once in awhile, at least temporarily.

I am more capable of love now than before I was married or when I was first married. 10 years together with Bob and I am only now in the last couple years beginning to feel the ACTUAL meaning of love. As I realize that love isn't something that just happens but is something you choose, it actually feels even more unbreakable, more unflappable as a choice than it did as something inevitable or inescapable.

When love was happening to me it felt like something intangible and impossible to hold on to. But now I choose to love Bob and I know that it is my decisions and my reactions that determine my love for him. Not his decisions or actions and not predestination.

I'm thankful for Jesus' example, for the gift of faith and how it has taught me better to love Bob. I am thankful to my parents for their example. Love in an imperfect world with two imperfect people as an echo of the perfect love from a perfect God.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

What else did they do?

I am building resources for a workbook I am putting together. A collection of information on art moments and individual artists and the like. I have about 80 artists I am collecting information on. Many of them are well known such as da Vinci or Titian; some lesser known Basawan and Carrie Mae Weems. I have made many rather dismal discoveries during my efforts. The latest of which is this: I have been doing quick google work searching for the birth-date of each artist and looking up or fact checking which art moments that artist is primarily known to be a part of. Of course many of the artists belong to multiple movements, or do not fit the movements of their time. The information is always easy to come by though. The first or second google result, possibly the third. Da Vinci, Tintoretto, Gauguin, Picasso, Pissarro, Manet... It's as easy to find their related art movement as it is to find their birth-date. But when I got to Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera respectively I ran into the same problem for both. They were not titled post-impressionist painters or cubist painters. They were Mexican painters. Same issue for both on multiple websites.

Though their bodies of work would indicate that they were both post-impressionists (or cubist) painters they are Mexican painters. Is this a huge outrage? No. They ARE Mexican painters and both bodies of work were very important to their time and their country. It is a tiny symptom of the larger problem of unequal treatment. Equal treatment is of course, impossible, however, should be treated carefully, especially if you have one of the top three google search results.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Two gecko posts in a row.

Last night I went to see a local Price is Right show at Jack's casino,  it was hosted by Jerry Springer by the way.  Bob didn't get called because they couldn't afford his winning streaks.
While the kids were away at the Duebs, Vegas the Crested Gecko decided it was time to lay her first clutch.  The kids and I were in the "sleeping room"  this morning when I spotted the eggs sticking out of the substrate in the nesting box. So pleased! Perfect white ovals.  In 80-130 days we will see how it goes.  ;)
We are working on a multiple step project at the Winslow Manse. Moving Marley and Solo into the third floor bedrooms.  I'm not ready emotionally.  I know I'm lame, I'm still letting them. Is it weird that I'm feeling extra crazy about window safety?  Shouldn't I be crazy about the second floor windows too?


Solo (laughingly): One time Asher locked himself in the bathroom and he couldn't get out and I had to tell him to turn the lock left... Wait that was me. I locked myself in the bathroom.

Sage (thoughtfully): red means stop and green means go!
Me: that's right Sage. Good.
Sage (yelling): So no cows running in the street!
Marley: Um Sage I think you're tired.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Bible tells me so.

Solomon: Sometimes I don't know if I am obeying God.
Meg: Let's talk about that.
Solomon: Like at night when I wake up and I need to go to the bathroom and I come downstairs and everyone else is asleep and I go to the bathroom and I don't know if I should flush or not because it might wake people up.
Me: ... neither of those are sin. In fact it probably pleases God that you are thinking about other people's needs.
Solomon: *look of deep relief*
Me: This is why we read our bible... Erm... one reason.