Saturday, May 30, 2009

"Daemons"

So Bob & I were having a random conversation about "daemons" from the book/movie The Golden Compass (which neither of us particularly enjoyed). In the movie each person had a talking animal companion that went with them everywhere. Bob & I were discussing what we would likely have & what we would have if we could pick (in the movie you don't get to pick). The conversation went something like this...

Bob: I would probably have a dog but I would pick a big lion, or a bobcat or a puma.
Meghyn: Quit making up animals! I would probably have a bird. Or a dead cat.
Bob: You'd probably have ten cats and two of them would be named Darryl.
Meghyn: You'd have a spider... at least you could scare people.
Bob: I could STARTLE people. There is a difference. They'd be like "AH! Oh it's a spider."

---------------------O0----

Tonight Bob & I got to babysit Toby & Aimee (along with our own little Starfish) and one notable moment (which I was not present for) was when Toby turned to Bob while they were watching a Thomas the train movie and said (quite randomly), "Bob... some of my socks have holes in them. I don't like that too much."

I would also like to say that when Robyn & Scott came to pick them up I had Aimee asleep in Marley's "crib" (AKA floor mattress) and while they were sitting in the living room waiting for Toby's movie to end so they could all go home I got Marley to sleep ALSO on her floor mattress. So two sleeping babies & a happy (incredibly tired) Toby. Go me!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Encouragement & Good Deeds

I had weirdo baby problems last night and couldn't blog. For the record the weirdo baby problems were Marley's diaper rash that is healing and apparently very very itchy.
She was going nuts trying to scratch it through the diaper. Hydrocortisone ftw.

After a conversation with Brenyn yesterday I decided that every time I am bored I am going to do a good deed. I don't get bored very often but I think it will still be a good exercise.

More later.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Oh yeah and...

Bob's 30th birthday was great. He won the poker tournament I hosted and won 100 bucks, ken took second and got 30.

Dan had his birthday party on Sunday and Marley was in a real pool for the first time and she LOVED it.


(below) I barely had to coach them to get this picture.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Cynicism

I have been considering the nuances of prayer for a few weeks now. I have really felt driven to find out where my conversations with God were going wrong. I was told you cannot pray incorrectly. But while that may true I have felt that my prayers were best described as mediocre. Mostly me beseeching God to make things right or to show me truth. Lots of me talking in circles.

In the last few weeks I have been trying to examine my prayers and to try different approaches. This may sound clinical and sterile but it has had major benefits in my relationship to God & the answers I have recieved from Him. Last night as I was putting Marley to bed I was praying that God would intervene for the people in my bible study and the things going on in their lives. Somewhere in the middle of that I realized that I prayed like I was not so much talking to a friend but to a feared & respected college professor. Never quite saying what I mean and never allowing myself to own my emotions and desires. You could describe it as praying with a grain of salt. Not fully sincere and certainly not allowing any vulnerability. All because I fear rejection or a rebuke or worst of all... sounding stupid and losing respect.

But if I will not open up to God, the one who made me and has fully forgiven me for all the secret and not-so-secret sins and betrayels who can I be open with? Where is the place for open and meaningful conversation if not with Him?

So what are the causes for my hesitation? My standoffish emotional withdrawl? I did not have to think about it at all. The answer was there for me to discover. Cynicism & Fear. A vicious cycle of emotionally damaging thinking. If I say what I am thinking I will sound like an idiot, if I say what I am thinking I will not be given love.

This is an incorrect way to think. I am so snobby that I even adjust my thoughts to compensate with what I think I should be and sound like (to people and to God). 

So the next step is to combat cynicism, to drive against the fear. How do I do that? My current feeling is to lay out prayer like a written dialogue (much like the book I have previously mentioned "Angry Conversations with God" because the author has written dialogues with her, God the Father & Jesus). I am not actually going to write it out because that would be limiting but I am going to try to silence the background noise. Keep my prayer dialogue at the forefront and move in a linear (when possible) fashion. Talk to God like I am writing a dear friend a letter, only with prompts where I will in turn listen.

But listening for God's answer is yet another of the obstacles I face in drawing closer to God. An obstacle I will save for another day, or another epiphany. In any case another blog entry.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Extended twittering


NerdTests.com says I'm a High Nerd.  Click here to take the Nerd Test, get nerdy images and jokes, and talk to others on the nerd forum!


*It pleases me that I have been able to resist cutting my hair this long. It does not please me that it won't matter since Marley is pulling it all out.

*Bob is going to be 30 on Friday. I am doing my utmost to make it the best 30th bday party he will ever have (and not spend a bunch of money doing it).

*Nearly every day I am reminded just how much our (Bob's and mine) families love us.

*Also thank God for Marley's secondary insurance because her brain scan was 650 and after her regular insurance there was still 350 to pay.

*Buying new starters is expensive. I'd much rather go bowling.

*My sister (Robyn) is a dog owner. She's going to see what she has been missing (+/-) His name is Pace and they adopted him at SPCA on Saturday. He is adult to be sure but how old is anyone's guess. He seems very well behaved. It puts me of a mind to get a new friend for Murphy. Murphy has really not been the same since Guinness died and I am not just being a softy.

*Started reading (ok, listening) to a new book called Angry Conversations with God. It is SO very good. It had me laughing before I even got to the first chapter. I would recommend it to any Christian, or anyone who has ever been angry with their higher power. It is delightfully written. Here is a little quote (paraphrased as I am going by memory).
"Whoever said if the world was run by women there would be no wars, was way wrong. If the UN was run by women you would hear things like, "Oh no that beotch did not invite me to her summit, I am definitely vetoing her ass."
And yes, the book says "beotch" and "ass".

*Marley has a diaper rash and it makes me (and her) feel miserable.

*My mom forum has become overwrought with needless (and stupid) drama. I have only posted a few times in the last few days and it saddens me. :(

Friday, May 15, 2009

Odds 'n' Ends

Miss Spider is such a great mom.

One of my garden snakes has cataracts (or so it appears).

Emily not-Egans-anymore had her baby a few days ago and she is beautiful and I am absolutely tickled for her. Yay Tara Rose!

Cheviot city-wide yard sale is tomorrow 7a-1p. 

I get a real feeling of satisfaction when I am misting my pineapple plant.

Bathing suit season is arrived. Dan's birthday pool party is in two weeks. Marley looks fantabulous in her suit, me in mine? Erm...

Marley's hair is growing in the middle on top and she looks a bit like a shark.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Zoo Babies!

Today Gigi, Baba, Robyn, Toby, Aimee, Marley & I went to see Zoo babies. We all went in one car! I sat between the baby car seats. Baby entertaining is not an easy task.

HelfixDopo (9:12:19 PM): The gorilla mama and baby were my fav because it was hot and the mom was laying on her back with her hand over her eyes and the baby was laying on top of her and poking her and prodding her and she kept smacking away the baby's hand like "knock it off!"

Then we had bible study at Robyn's house and Erin & No-no (Noah) came and it was good. Our new book should prove to be interesting. (Having a Mary heart in a Martha World)

So GO US for having a good LONG day with minimal breakdowns!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Ahahahahah "3-15 months".

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Meme


When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child,
I thought as a child: but when I became a man,
I put away childish things.
I Corinthians 13:11

Saturday, May 9, 2009

<3 Mama

There are an infinite amount of things to be said about mothers and motherhood.

The older Marley gets, the more I get into my newest role. Often when I talk to other people I want to tell them how different Marley has made me, sometimes I feel like that is negative but mostly I view it as uncomprehendly good. Only time will reveal just how much I have to learn from this relationship. Only time can show me a love so deep that it can forgive lies, guide the lost & give almost endlessly.

Thank you to my Mom who has been the best Mom ever and made me a better person. 
Thank you to Marley who has given me a reason to constantly grow &  for giving me the deep longing to be the next 'best mom ever'. <3 

Friday, May 8, 2009

Baby stance


Marley teaches Murphy some moves.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tag Tag

So I was looking at my old blog location and I was perusing my tags and I just wanted to share some of the better ones...

Babblating
Babblations
Boobs
Cupcakes in North America
Danish Danish Danish
Do not dither Harlot
Doozies
Doozify
Doozying
God please kill these people with purple lightning
Hooker math
Mama Turd
Reality Goggles
Stupid boobs
The back talking red button
Underpants cookies
Worry warting

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Hey God

Tonight when I try to get Marley to sleep without nursing please give me patience and help me to know what I should and should not do. Help me to make kind decisions and do what is best for my little meatball. God help me to parent her in a way that shows love but is also firm and moving in the right direction. Amen

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Love Spring

No one would dare to dream the dreams that April May.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I got "hollered" at...

by a ten-ish year old. I am not exaggerating. He was maybe 12 AT THE VERY MOST. He was walking with his slightly older friend and says to him "she sexy" and then to me "what up mommy?"

SICK. Sexualized preteens turns my stomach and makes me afraid. It seems like for a lot of kids the time they have to actually be a kid is narrowing. I can only imagine the home environment where this kid is learning this misogynistic and TOTALLY inappropriate behavior from.

I could rant so much more but it makes me nauseated.

---------------------~

HelfixDopo (9:17:58 PM): if i had not had marley i would have told him about how he shouldnt howl at a woman like she is a dog.
bobsworkscreenname (9:18:51 PM): yeah
bobsworkscreenname (9:19:06 PM): but its not your job, its his dads job. and he fails

Friday, May 1, 2009

RANDOM!

Toby Froud (aka Toby from Labyrinth... yes the baby) is getting married in July. You can go ahead and feel old now.

http://www.worldoffroud.com/www/froudmessage.cfm