Sunday, July 26, 2009

Holy Interiors, Batman.


So I have officially named the room that has until now been referred to as "the office", "extra room", "yellow room", "murphy's room", "other bedroom", etc. I am now going to call it, MY OFFICE. Since I don't get an office out in the real world, I'll take one here on Pameleen.

It is currently (and you might have guessed this) yellow. I don't care for it. I know one thing for sure. I am going to somehow frame this super-humongus street map I have and hang it up. It was the map the realtor (aww Reg) gave me during house hunting and anyways I freaking love maps. I have a world map hanging in our bedroom (but our bedroom has no style at all whatsoever)... What was I talking about? Oh yeah. So I was thinking about painting the walls a very saturated mediterranean blue. It is a small room but sometimes it isn't about making the room look bigger, it's "embracing your small space".

I just feel like I need to anchor the room with a dark colour. Hey look at all these sentences and I still have not arrived at a point. That is because there isn't one.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Studying Jesus

So I think I mentioned that I recently felt led to get on out of the book of Job and into the book of Matthew. GREAT decision (really).

Sometimes it feels a bit like wisdom overload. And sometimes I just don't understand what is going on at all. But mostly I just feel like I am learning about someone who gets it, someone who gets me.

Last night I was reading Matthew 13-24 and Jesus is telling the disciples about how he is going to be arrested and crucified in the future and this overwhelming thought hit me. He was thinking of me when that happened. When Jesus the man was bringing himself to terms with the knowledge that he was going to be tortured and killed, he was thinking of me. That was how he dealt with it. He knew that because he loved me, that it was something that would have to happen. That is a love worth knowing. A love worth dying for. A love worth living for. REAL love. Not the shade of love we treasure during our lifetimes but a lasting love that is more forgiving than romantic love, more forgiving even than parental love (though I find this hard to comprehend).

I have also been struck by the way Jesus is moved to compassion. People constantly seeking him out and asking more, more, more of him. People who need to be healed and begging him to give them health and wellness. He takes care of them. Seeing to their needs, even though they seek him out and ask so much over and over again. He does not let his exhaustion effect his capacity for compassion. He does not let his frustration keep him from being the patient shepherd of his flock.

I feel like I am saying very little for how much I feel about this book. It keeps me (nicely) overwhelmed. Humbled.

But my favorite part so far?

Jesus taking out his righteous anger on the fig tree.
18 Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.
19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it
except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" Immediately
the tree withered.

I like this. I can relate to this. When I am hungry, I want to destroy things that get in my way too.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Aimee & Marley Birthday pictures

Birthday cake by Aunt Jenny & Cupcakes by Aunt Robyn

The lunch sandwiche buffet, Bob made all the sandwiches.
(turkey cranberry & brie, egg salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, pbj, pb and banana, cucumber sandwiches; fruit salad, broccoli salad, fruit flowers made by my mom; wagon wheels & puffs)

Table set up with photo albums and mementos from their first year.

Aimee, Noah & Marley enjoying some new toys.

Marley went nuts opening her gifts. She did very well with the bday chaos.

Smash cakes! Jenny made mini cakes that looked like cupcakes, so cute! I made the banner over their heads.

You see why I said Marley had chocolate up her nose?

& the smash cake video...



For cupcakes.
For how flowers perk up so quickly when it rains.
For Marley's "happy shreaks".
For family.
For the night that I was at work and talked to my mother for more than an hour because I couldn't make sense of my life and she helped me make decisions that had to be made.
For hand lotion.
For semi-public forums to write what you love and love what you write.
For forums that are based on similar interests and lifestyles that stay positive (most of the time).

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Little Sweeties Birthday Party

The party went very well. Very many of my favorite people were there and the decorations were adorable, the babies were mostly "well behaved" and the Winslows and Goodridges got to meet. Oh and we got to eat cake.

I have no pictures to upload because my camera decided not to work. Not to fear, Robyn had hers and says I will get my Walgreens invite tomorrow. I am uploading the video. The videos while not as pretty as pictures, are GREAT. I only have one up so far but the last one is fantastic because it is of Marley & Aimee with their smashcakes. So.stinkin.cute.

Marley still has some chocolate up her nose.

Happy birthday Starfish.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Ok I want you to think of the word.... Genocide.

Bad, right?

Want to see genocide get a whole lot better?

Mosquito Genocide.


Bible suggestions?

During bedtime prayer I was trying to visualize what Jesus the man would have looked like. I kept coming up with a Indian looking Christian Bale. Yikes.

More importantly, I realized that as little as I knew about Jesus the man's physical appearance, I knew less than I wanted to know about his attitude, his life and his groove (the rythme in which you live your life). So I decided to skip the book of Job (thank God) and move directly to the books covering Jesus the man's lifetime. Only problem is I need a bible that 1. speaks plainly and 2. has a font bigger than 6 because I keep getting headaches. Of course the book of Job may have been giving me the headaches too...

I basically read a devotional about a man who had a close relationship with God and got it by reading long and hard into his bible every night. Seems like a pretty fantastic way to listen to God right?

Oh and because I think Christian Bale is a little creepy I am just going to picture Jesus with Bob Marley's face except with no dreads... and no pot.


Constant rambling about a subject (other than Marley) is boring/asinine/undesired...

I have made a seperate blog to gather my wedding prattle. Also it is a lot easier and more organized than emailing myself over and over.

Friday, July 17, 2009

July 14th

Happy 1st Birthday to Marley
Engagement :)

Happy birth day to Asher Thomas!

Friday, July 10, 2009


I'll just copy and paste from facebook...

"Ugh so this morning I wake up and let Murphy out and he immediatly starts chasing after this squirrel in my yard and the squirrel barely runs away. I tell Murphy to stop chasing him and put the dog inside. Murphy never touched the squirrel but it is all bloody and not running away, just laying there (alive). I try to see if it is going to live or die and what happened to it and then I realize there is another squirrel and it is already dead. So I roll the bloody alive squirrel into a cage so cats cannot get to it. Give it water and some seeds. It starts to get a little better. So I Had no idea what happened until a few hours later when Bobby walks in and tells me our neighbor had shot them with a bb gun b/c they were nesting in his roof. e was too embarassed to come tell me after watching me try to keep it alive. So a few hours after that I was randomly cleaning an old dusty file drawer and I found the card you gave me for my 21st birthday which is apicture of a squirrel reading a... a newspaper and it reads "It is always nice to read the obituaries and not find your name."

Also I now have the Ewok Theme (song) as my ringback tone. Yay! 6eight69zero93

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Full Weekend

It has been nonstop go go go the last few days. On Friday I got up early to clean, Bob went with Bryan, Steve and Dan to get fireworks, Bob helped Dan do moving stuff, we went to Vanna's birthday grill out and then back to the Kutchera's for a poker game. Next day we hung out with the Winslows for a while because Jenny is in town and then it was 4th of July fun at Kutchera's. Good food, good people. Today was church, and my mom's birthday brunch (waffles nom nom) and then dinner with the Winslows at Quaker Steak'n'Lube (where my car got hit and run).

I am ready to do NOTHING. Marley was fantastic considering the pace of life.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Time passes, truth passes.

So I was talking to Brenyn tonight about how I use to think and how I think now. Briefly, but it made me think about what things are TRUE and what things are SOMETIMES TRUE. (TRUE= without a doubt)

When I was younger there were things I KNEW were TRUE for me and that I just knew would always be true for me. Some of those things are not actually true to me now. Now there are beliefs and values in my life that I know are TRUE and will never change. Or will they? I cannot know because wisdom changes and (hopefully) wisdom is constantly being gained. The wisdom of experience. Who can say what 40 year old me will know that 24 year old me cannot yet fathom? We take a lot for granted. Love, family, circumstances...

I am not sure if this is for the best or if we would all be better served by foresight into future wisdom. Is it unfortunate that people cannot always learn from other's mistakes? Or perhaps it is just the way things are and for the better (though I cannot imagine how).

For example I KNOW that I will always love Marley more dearly then I love any other human being. But will it always be true? What if I have another child? What if when she is older, she is a frighteningly horrible person? Can I say whether my love will hold? I would like to think I could say yes, I will always love her. But time teaches us difficult lessons, so truth shifts. What is true now warps away as time keeps passing.

Being a human is exhausting. For such a short shift we have on Earth there sure is a lot to think about.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Realization 1

So a few nights ago during bedtime I realized the answer to a question I never really asked. If believing (and therefore loving) in Jesus is your ticket into heaven and no one gets there on good works, why bother following the commandments? Why strive to be good (good from a Christian standpoint not a secular standpoint)?

I realized that striving to be good is the walk that goes with the talk. If you love someone do you shun them with your actions? Hurt them habitually? Methodically separate yourself from them? The short answer is no (although I could go into how all the damaged people including myself that DO those things but that is another blog). So because we love Him, we strive to honour Him, to obey Him. Try to have the perfect spiritual marriage to the Lover of our soul. So I can no longer say "Well I am spiritual, I am a Christian, I just fall short of the mark, that is what Jesus is for." I have to give myself to Him fully. Not just slack and let Him pick up the pieces. That is what I use to do. Profess my belief in Jesus as my savior (though I did truely believe) and then carry on like nothing profound had never happened to change me.

I am changed.
    2 Corinthians 5:17
    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
    Also... I am now being stalked by 2 Corinthians. Before it was Matthew 6.
    *Edited to say: Though I am still fully aware that despite any new efforts to stop being such a crappy friend to Jesus I will never be perfect.