Saturday, January 30, 2010

Into the ears of babes...

So this week I have been jotting down weird things I hear myself having to say to Marley. Here is what I have starting from last Saturday to now:

"New diaper, then streaking."
"Marley, don't eat the frog's face."
"How did these grapes get in here?"
"Toilets are not little bathtubs."
"Get the pea out of your nose."
"Don't pee on the... pillowcase."
"Are you pooping?" (I actually ask her this one a lot, probably all moms do).
"Don't touch the dog's butt... Don't touch the dog's butt... Marley, leave his butt alone."

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Also I figured out why Marley loves watching Trebellina OVER and OVER. There is a part where they just play music and she likes to spin to it. Today she and I were spinning and I stopped when I got too dizzy and she kept going for about twice as long as me. When she finally stopped, she could only walk sideways or backwards. I am pretty sure I could get a video of this if I were not so busy trying to spot her.
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Also, a few hours ago Gilbert & Murphy both ran away. Basically Marley was napping, I was doing laundry and the dogs were in the kitchen when I heard this HORRIBLE cat ruckus. I thought maybe a cat was being tortured in my yard so I flew up the steps and I had to push through the dogs to get out sliding door and I tried to keep them (the dogs) from getting out but there was no stopping them with all that caterwauling going on. So I run out there, sans shoes, step in a dog dook, and see that there are 2 cats beyond the fence, 50 feet apart, just *****ing at each other. Unfortunately, my dogs were so incensed that they broke through a post in the fence and ran after the cats. One cat ran for parts unknown, the other ran up a tree. My dogs gave up the chase and ran off. They pretended like they could not even hear me.

So I called for awhile. Standing in my backyard in a tshirt with **** on my foot. Nothing. I can't go after them because Marley is asleep in the house. So I go back in and clean off my **** foot. I periodically call for the dogs. Then I SAW Murphy and called him back and he got to the gate and I couldn't get the ****ing thing open fast enough and he ran away again. I never saw Gilbert.
When Marley woke up we drove around and looked for them. Not a trace, did see another dog apparently running free, couldn't get him (?) to come near me either.

So Bob is looking for them now. I was angry/guilty at first and now I am stuck in the guilty/worry phase. It is cold and they are both retarded. I have a bad feeling about Gilbert. Murphy I have hope because he came back last time after 5 days. I just don't know. It seems like no matter how secure we make the fence, they will break through if they are motivated enough. No option to tie out because they would get wrapped in stuff. ARGH! Here we go again with the constant SPCA visits, calling, staring out the window, driving around.

I know better about one thing, this time I am not mentioning it on facebook because of all the advice I kept getting. "Have you checked the pound?" DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry I know it is well meaning but come on people. I do have half a functioning brain.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Ah, hormones.

This time, in 2008 (whilst I was pregnant with Marley) my blog read a little angry. Here is a small excerpt:

Stupid stupid slaves of how-things-are-supposed-to-be. Someone give me an automatic weapon. UGH. I am fully aware that my medical knowledge is limited. I am however CHAMPION SCHOLAR of my body and my schedule. So kiss my ass nursing staff. You're all a bunch of tight *** **** ******* ******* and you can go **** ******** ** *** ********. Thanks.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Medicaid WHINING

I decided to apply for Medicaid with this baby since I'm uninsured. I am pretty sure I qualify, even though I don't qualify for any other program. I applied last time to but I did it through the mail and over the phone and it was months of phone tag resulting in "Alright eff this, I give up."

THIS TIME, I followed advice and went downtown to apply. Let me say this... yikes. I was already a little grouchy because I HAVE MORE HORMONES IN MY BODY THAN 100 NON PREGGOS ... and also my cell phone was dead and that makes me feel alienated in a sad over-socialized sorta way... what was I talking about? Oh right, Medicaid.

Also SOMEONE named BOB took my car change to buy coffee and I couldn't feed the meter so I had to park somewhat (completely) shadily in a lot. So then I trudge up the hill with Marley who is wildly signing to me "cold", "cold", "cold", making holding her rather difficult. I find the building again with relative ease. Because there are a ton of people hanging around the enterance and a guy on a bike decides he has to ride his bike over top of me, despite there being a large amount of sidewalk for us to share, and me being on the correct side of pedestrian traffic, OH AND HE WAS ON A BIKE ON THE SIDEWALK.

So I go in the building and immediately I get struck with the discordant fragrance concoction of marijuana and perfume. Have I mentioned, super smelling powers is a pregnancy side effect? I could smell all 150 of those people crammed into that lobby. And I feel fairly confident with my own education modestly described as "some college, no degree" I was one of the people on the leader board for education points.

HelfixDopo (2:09:44 PM): that place downtown was gross.
HelfixDopo (2:10:08 PM): it was like... disney world - happiness
HelfixDopo (2:10:13 PM): too many people.
HelfixDopo (2:10:16 PM): so many lines.
HelfixDopo (2:10:24 PM): angry security people
HelfixDopo (2:11:19 PM): they did do the little beepy wandy thing and my bag had to go through a machiney all seeing eye thingy.
bobatwork (2:15:49 PM): well at least its done :)
HelfixDopo (2:16:06 PM): maybe ill get strip searched NEXT time.
....

That huge amount of complaining aside. Going down there in person was much faster than using mail/telephone. I really was not down there for long and hopefully all the paperwork is good and I don't have to make a return visit.

Monday, January 25, 2010

No Man No Man No Man!

Yes Men is hilarious.
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So we had people over to watch the game and it was fun. My favorite part was when the Kutchera's, Dan, Trent, Lindsay, Bob & I were discussing names and the giving of names. Erin asked Bob what his middle name was and he answered, "It's Leonard."

And then she said, "Oh Leonard, hahaha!"

She didn't even try to pretend that the name Leonard isn't a kinda funny name. Hilarious.

Ok, that was funnier at the time.
But this is my blog. Too bad!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

If Ever Diddy

When/if we ever move out of this house (which we will have to if we continue our current rate of people production) I want to move closer to town, I want to be an inconvenient distance from any mall. I want reasonable access to all snob perks. I don't want to be "technically a townie".

Also I want a flat driveway.
Too bad all the mansions in Northside are out of my price range (which is somewhere between 10 and 70 dollars).

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Complaints & HAPPINESS

If I could just have my pregnancy complaints I think I would be ok but I keep getting sick on top of it all. First the flu-from-hell and now the cold-from-hell-which-can't-be-medicated-properly-because-I-am-pregnant-and-the-only-medicine-we-currently-have-is-NyQuil. Also I am pretty sure I am still dehydrated. I hate winter. HATE it. I wish Spring, Summer & Fall would get together and defeat winter in all it's suckiness. *whine whine whine*
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Does anyone want to buy my spinny circular loveseat that we have in the living room?
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Our house is a wreck, I cannot win in my epic battle with laundry and the dishes are never easy to stay on top of. Stupid dishwasher taunts me with it's broken-ness.
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I have watched many many many episodes of COPS (Bob & I both love it) and it finally happened. I saw someone I know. They showed a (drunk) guy who's face was all swollen because he had gotten into a "domestic disturbance" (aka fist fight on private property) with his (drunk) cousin and I was all, "He looks like someone I know." Then they called him Jon which is the name of the person I was thinking of, so I grabbed the remote and hit 'info' where it shows you an excerpt about the show you are watching and sure enough it was filmed in Hamilton county, Ohio!

Jon Skirvin! You made a dream of mine come true!

I know that sounds base and heartless of me, but fear not! There is a happy ending. During the segment about the "domestic disturbance" Jon & his cousin Pete make up and hug at the end and confess familial affection and neither press charges. The policeman says in his voice over, "That isn't the first time I've been out there. I'll probably have to go back tonight."

The first detention I ever had in middle school was with Jon. Go figure.

Midwives Appointment #1

Gigi & Grandpa Bob watched Marley and I drove in the rain to Clifton. My first feeling about this whole situation is that it is CRUEL to place a midwives office across from a McDonald's & Dunkin Donuts. The poor preggos are having GOOD NUTRITION FOR YOU AND THE BABY hammered into them and as soon as they walk out the door. Temptation.

I didn't get doughnuts or mcChickens, but I wish I had. It would have saved me 5 dollars because I ended up stopping at Sullivans' on the way to get Marley and buying two boxes of delicious and overpriced Waffle Crisp. $4.99 a box. I know. I feel very guilty whenever I am not having a bowl of syrupy crunchy amazingness.

So what was I saying? Right, midwife appointment...

I met with one my favorite midwives (I like her because she is cheerful). We had a great conversation about how awkward her job is while she was up to her elbow... nevermind. Anyways the good news is that nothing bad was immediatly obvious. The sad part... according to my fundus (?) I am about 8 weeks pregnant. I REALLY wanted to be at least 10, prefferably 36. So I was a little discouraged but I knew it was a possibility.

I had labs drawn and I had the extreme misfortune of having a nervous flobotomist. I have many (extra) holes. Which is funny because (and I know I am bragging) (about something really stupid) I have big nasty non rolling veins. Don't be jealous, some people are just lucky I guess.

Somehow I left the office without actually having an estimated due date but if I am 8 weeks then we're due at the end of August. I would prefer being due at the BEGINNING but at least now Erin's baby won't sbe so faaaaaaaar behind mine (Erin - this is a test to see how timely you read this). Tomorrow I am going to Good Sam to have an ultrasound to get an estimated due date. Hopefully Bob will insist on buying me a sonogram doughnut.

So the point of this story is that I love Waffle Crisp and that Dunkin Donuts and I have a love hate relationship and it will take me slightly longer than I thought to get fat. And that I think about food too much.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Watching Little Bear really takes me back to sitting at the peninsula with my mom eating sandwiches. I wish they still had Wide World of Richard Scarry on TV.
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The new fiction I am working on is starting to take a hold. The nice thing about fiction is that it writes itself even better than non-fiction. Go figure.
"The great thing about fiction is that you can make up just about anything." - Ivana Trump
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I cannot wait for my midwife appointment on Thursday. It will be my first opportunity to have feelings one on one with the O.K. I just hope I don't get an undesirable midwife for this appointment. I've already called them once (at 2am in the morning when I first got the flu) and the midwife I spoke with was downright rude and completely not supportive. She made me feel like I was a druggie looking for medication when all I really wanted was advice whether or not I needed to go to the hospital since I couldn't keep in any fluids, had a fever etc. She said, "You got pregnant, what did you expect to happen? When you're pregnant, you get sick."

Well I wasn't aware that pregnancy and the flu-ish went together but what do I know? Anyways my point is, she was a wench and wasn't interested in helping me, just in getting off the phone. I asked for at home remedies for nausea that she could suggest and she said "there aren't any." Ummm... yeah except ginger, vitamin b6, laying on your side, keeping cool, keeping crackers handy, etc. Stupid skank.
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Hormones.
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Marley is at such a fantastic age. I wish I could stop time.
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Nighttime has been going pretty well. The actual getting Marley to bed can take up to an hour and forty minutes but she stays asleep 8-9 hours so I am pretty much ok with that. I also now limit bedtime nursing to 30 minutes (I know, it is still a long time). After the thirty I will just lay beside her. At first she cries a bit and tries to nurse but after that she usually lays next to me stroking my hair, or sometimes she grabs me by both ears and tries to kiss me on the mouth over and over (awkward! I have to dodge everything after the first time). Sometimes she will scoot into the little spoon position and pull my arm over her. She likes to say "nigh, nigh" over and over into the darkness. She is stinkin cute and very affectionate. Pretty sure I am locking her up till she's 21.

And I feel better about night time now that I don't nurse her indefinitely long all night. Although I will be happy to have her fully weaned (by March 1st!) Then I get a whole... 5 months before I have to start over again. Doh!
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Ok, I need a PBJ.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Child blessing

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127: 3-5

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139: 16

"Jesus turned and said to them, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. For the time will come when you will say, 'Blessed are the barren women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!' Then " 'they will say to the mountains, "Fall on us!" and to the hills, "Cover us!" For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?" Luke 23:28-31

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Marley Food & Bed

Marley is down to two nursing sessions per 24 hour period. @ Naptime and Bedtime. She is eating WAY more food obviously because if she didn't, she would starve. lol But ALL DAY LONG she is signing "eat" and saying "e...e! e!" Then I will build her some food and she will eat a little and then throw the rest or just keep masticating it and spitting it out. So I have to make it for nothing. I am basically making her food or my food all day long. Yikes.

Last night, Marley slept from 10pm to about 715am. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of thoughts.

I should post something...
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Bob & I need a vacation but not a working vacation. Camping is a working vacation. It does not make it less fun, just different. We are being stalked by Disney but that would be dumb because Marley would not get to enjoy it like she will when she is older. Plus O.K. (other kid)...
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No better toy for a toddler then a poster tube thingy. You can look in it, stick your hand in it, yell really loud into it...
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I am not sure why websites & baby books choose to compare fetal size to obscure fruits. O.K. has been compared to a blueberry, a fig, "a small plum"... What is my baby is only the size 3 medium raspberries instead of 2 medium prunes?
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Today I have had cravings for LaRosa's pizza and orange juice then I wanted a fruit & spinach salad with apple cider vinaigrette and bacon and NOW I want raw carrots, a hot dog & mac n cheese. Ok wait after typing it, I no longer want mac'n'cheese. Sick.

Yesterday I wanted pancakes, grilled cheese & mater soup (got that one!) and a bologna sandwiche with excessive cheese.

Cravings ARE REAL and they make life difficult because pretty much anything besides the craving sounds DISGUSTING.
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Bob & I both got stomach bugs over the weekend. I thought it was just really REALLY bad morning sickness but thankfully it wasn't! I was so sick, my mama had to come over all day Saturday and watch Marley (and I). I have not been that disabled since my morning sickness with Marley and that includes my postpartum state. I was up and walking same day I birthed my little Starfish. Mostly because I wanted a shower at any cost.
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I loved labor and delivery so much... Except the 5 weeks after wards. Having my precious pumpernickel was great but the bleeding, SICK. You can never be clean.
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I keep forgetting to look into cloth diapers. The only people who seem to dislike them, have never tried them. I feel like I should be willing to try it. We will see. I guess I would know more if I ya know, knew more.
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Paul Reiser's "Babyhood" is back on my booklist. I have only read it 9 million times.
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I have been rereading Michelle West's Sun Sword series. 95% of the time the books are flawless and completely enchanting. And that is a good percentage compared to most books except that each of the 4 books is about 700 pages. So 700x4= 2800 so 2800/100 = 28 and 28x5= ...140 pages of eye rolling.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A little of something.

Two of my friends are both in weird relationship limbos.
--o-
Facebook is a blursing. (blessing/curse)
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Fighting nausea is a constant battle of holding very still, not laying on my back and constant eating... it is not as easy as it sounds. Thankfully all my food cravings thus far (mostly) have been savory.
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I hate being a feeler. I want to be a thinker. I think like a thinker but I feel like a feeler and all my feelings override my thoughts. So basically that is the most redundant way to saying exactly what I already said. NOW you're cross eyed.
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I am going to be happy about this baby and his/er timing no matter who/no matter what.
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I am too sensitive, with a ton of hormones going on, I am monumentally more sensitive.
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I also wish I was not the type of person who desired to be liked by everyone. When people don't like me, I automatically do not like them right back and that is a circle of dislike. Which isn't exactly violence but it still makes me feel like poking them in the eye.
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I wish I could be more like Bob in a lot of ways. Right now, in particular I wish I could have his "let's-do-what-is-right-for-us-and-the-kids and everything-will-turn-out-great" attitude. My attitude is more like "let's-aim-low-and-hit-something."
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Marley's 18 month doctor's appointment is on February 25th (day after my birthday) and my first midwives appointment for this pregnancy is January 21st. The closeness of their ages boggles my mind and terrifies me. I was the one who wanted four years in between the 1st and the 2nd. "Family Planning". Sounds like a comedy to me.
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I hope I write at least one fiction novel before I die.
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People never react/act the way you expect them too. Expect the worst, get the best & vice versa.
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I wish I could unhear things more than I wish I could unsay things. At least when you say something really stupid you can just apologize or explain or laugh it off. You have to forget things that you hear and if they are really bad you won't forget for a long while and the damage is done.
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I am pretty much done with Winter and all 6 inches of this snow.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy New Year

So on the first of January we found out we are pregnant. That is to say our second child will be here sometime between the end of July and the end of August... maybe.

Bob made me a ton of food to help combat the nausea.
My first appointment with a midwife is on Jan 21st. Here is hoping my cervix feels more like 11-12 weeks rather then 8-10. I want to be those people who sits down and a baby pops out and they're all "Whoa! I didn't know I was pregnant! Oops! Yay a baby!" Lucky Jerks.
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Certainly a blessing but less desirable in timing with the wedding plans for June 5th and all the deposits put down.

So Bob & I decided rather then rushing the ceremony now or having it on June 5th when I am ROUND with child, we're going to have it in October. Actually on the date we originally desired 10-10-10.

I am glad that this is what we are doing because it is the only option that gives me any peace with the coming year.

I have sucessfully moved the photogs, the reception location and the caterer. No luck with ceremony site, it is booked.
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So now my resolution to fully wean Marley by the beginning of March is even more important. I am determined also to not gain 65 pounds again. Yikes, even if I did lose it very quickly... yikes.
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God (will) help us deal with two kids.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Putting a dream to bed.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Dogs & ... God.

Murphy is home. This morning Bob did something he NEVER does. That is he jumped out of bed right after waking up (even before he needed to). He went to the kitchen and Gilbert was pawing the double doors and whining. Bob ran to the door and saw a dog beyond the fence. Sure enough, Murphy's Stout Winslow had made his triumphant (skulking) return. He's still acting like he normally does. Even tempered and affectionate but I feel certain he was either attacked or hit by a car.

He has a large gash on his head but he must have gotten immediatly after he ran away because it looks very healed up. Thankfully the cold weather probably helped to keep infection away. He HAD to have been taken in by someone. I think this for several reasons.

1. His collar is on. His tags are gone.
2. He could not have been sleeping outdoors without shelter in these temperatures.
3. Why all of a sudden come back?
4. He looks pretty nourished. He LOOKS it, he ate relatively quickly (for him) when he got home. But compared to Gilbert EVERYONE looks like they are eating with the Queen and using proper manners. I am unsure whether he actually was being fed or if he just found food (or worst case scenario) it is just swelling.

I am even happier and more relieved he is home then I thought I would be. Marley is beside herself. She LOVES to give Murphy squeezes. She is not able to squeeze Gilbert because he is still too skittish.

Since he has been home he has simply followed me all over the house and slept on the couch. We are taking him to the vet tomorrow so we didn't have to deal with the crazyness of an emergency vet.

I am praying that the pain he seems to have is a couple cracked ribs. I honestly could not deal with losing Murphy after all this. Gilbert is acting a fool because we are keeping him seperate and away so he does not try to wrestle Murphy for now.
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The rest of life... All I can do is trust that no matter which diversions I set myself upon or what earthquakes rip and sunder my plans... That God will be there. Maybe He won't make it easy but He will keep me company while I wander the roads I turn down.

God, give me strength.