Saturday, April 24, 2010

The fear of sleep

Sleep is a constant topic when you have a baby and a frequent one if you have a toddler.

Marley fell asleep early yesterday and then woke up at 9p crying, I comforted her and she laid back down... and proceeded to stare at the ceiling for 2.5 hours. Not crying, not talking, not moving. I had Bob inspect her when he got home at 11, just to make sure I was not missing something. Why not sleep if you are going to lay there motionless anyway? If she was an adult I would assume she had a lot on her mind but she is a toddler. The primary part of her day is spent talking about food, the desire for food, what is currently happening in preparation for food & kung fu.

Today I made sure she had a complete restful nap early in the day, followed our bedtime routine to the letter (final feeding, pajamas, books, white noise machine, lights out, prayers, "Nigh nigh. Marley, I love you", kiss, laying down, cuddling). But still she was restless, but THIS TIME she gave me some clues.

She sat up and kept identifying her body parts, asking for food, drinking noisily from her sippie cup, bumping it. Finally I had her lay down and face me and I asked her "Marley, what is wrong?" Then she just kept repeating the same word over and over... "Dark".

Ugh, so my fear of the dark has transferred to my beloved babushka. Great. Fail.

I tell her "You don't like the dark? Should I turn a little light on?"
*Emphatic Marley head nodding* So I flip on the light built into her monitor. A warm small glow, serving as back-lighting for the balloon Bob got me in the hospital when Marley was born (awwwww).
"Is that better?"
*More nodding*
I lay back down and repeat "Nigh nigh. Marley, I love you." Kiss.
She lays there for a minute and then back up she goes. This time she is sticking her fingers in her ears and covering them with her palms in turns.
"Do you want me to change the noise?"
*Nod* I change it from waterfall (which is very nondescript) to summer night (chirping). She again covers her ears.
"Do you want me to turn off the noise?"
*Nod* I shut it off.

Lay back down, etc. She goes to sleep in a few minutes.
So... Fear. Not good.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Museum center

I took Toby to the family potty at the museum center and he sat on the toilet for like 10 minutes just taaaaalking and finally I ask him "are you finished on the potty?" and he goes "I've been done."

He also said a bunch of other hilarious stuff but most of it was about poop, so I'll not repeat it (except in text messages to Bob).

Also while at the museum I was walking with Marley & Aimee and I heard a lady say "Woah" as she looked at our group. The twin toddler girls and their largely pregnant mother (in seeming). Woah indeed.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Good day, dumb dogs

Today was a pretty good day. Marley & I went to visit Lakeside Lodge (where the wedding reception and possibly the ceremony is being held) and Marley got to see fish and geese, then we went to the Harbor and played on the swing (or the "wheee" as Marley calls it) and went on numerous slides. One of which I had to accompany Marley to the top and since it was so tall, when she went down, there was no one to stop her, so she did the butt bump on the ground thing. I got some dirty looks. Whatever, she loved it. She also loved all the 'toot toots' that were flying around. She kept greeting them whenever they landed close by. "Hi toot toot!"

The only kid names I overheard were Hannah (or Anna), Bianca, & Logan (all girls).

We are watching Pacer (Duebber's dog) for a few days and Apart they may be fairly intelligent, moderately well behaved dogs but together If I have to watch them run one more circle around the yard, I may lose it.

I left them alone in the kitchen while Marley & I went to the park, we were gone about two hours. The whole room was lined with a thick bumper of dog hair when I got back. I suspect the hair was all Murphy's and just shed faster than usual due to high energy dog shenanigans in a semi-enclosed space. I took a picture of the dog hair ball but I am not sure I want to document the gross.

It never fails to depress me when I think about how much Bob has to work and misses in Marley's life. :(

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ultrasound 2 - results

Had our appointment yesterday and it went wonderfully. Bob stayed home with Marley and even that went well, Marley napped (which she rarely does for me without a drive in the car). I went to the ultrasound and I think the registration people at Good Sam are the nicest people ever. They smile and everything!

So the ultrasound showed all to be well. No errant organs or surprises about the gender. He is still a boy and they even gave me an ultrasound picture to prove it this time. (That was a big concern for me before). So now I am confident it is indeed a boy! Yay!

Now I can obsess over boy names with even more gusto.
He weighed in at an ounce more than Marley did at 21 weeks at 16 oz. (1 lb)
Happy for health.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Ultrasound - take 2

Today is our second ultrasound for Gilligan. They told me at the time of the second ultrasound it was to check measurements but my midwife told me when we were at my next appointment it was to check because of a prominent cord insertion. They want to get a look at it from another position to rule out problems like gastoschisis (which is when the intestines grow outside the baby's belly). IF they do find that the baby has it, it will be corrected by either one or a series of surgery after delivery. I'm not sure if it requires a c-sec, but I cannot imagine a vaginal birth under those conditions. I saw a show about a baby born with gastroschisis while I was pregnant with Marley and I know even IF they do find something, that the prognosis is good. But this ultrasound is to rule out the possibility, not to confirm it. Just say a prayer if you have a minute (prayers can be post dated).

This ultrasound is also to confirm the male bits of the baby. Bob was totally convinced last time and I was not. No way am I leaving that room without printed proof of man-dom. Worse case scenario (regarding the gender) is that I have to make another gender reveal cake and any worse-case option that involves me eating cake is not all that bad.

One thing that really helps me to worry less, is how many of my friends I know are praying for me this morning/afternoon. Women I pray for who in their turn pray for me. It is good to have a prayer base when you're worried. <3 my ivillage girls.

My family and Bob's is also praying and that only makes me feel that much better. Maybe we will get bad results but I know we will be able to deal with it.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Marley, Murphy

Lazy update. C & P from Facebook and AIM

Meghyn Goodridge Ok, Marley and I just played in the sandbox turtle with water and dishsoap. I think this counts as 1. Bath time 2. Laundry (she went in in her clothes) 3. Mopping (because when she came inside she dragged her wet socks all over) I'm feeling pretty accomplished. :P

Meghyn Goodridge Marley just pulled up my shirt and was chittering to the "bebe" and then she pulled my shirt down and said "Nigh Nigh". :)

Helfixdopo: Marley just brought me a picture of Brenyn, Robyn & I. I asked her "Who is that?" and Marley pointed to Brenyn "Baba" to Robyn "Ro" to my belly "Bebe" & Me "Mama".

I want this:

I washed Murphy today so well that he smelled like a hyacinth when I was finished. That is till he got out and rolled in something dead. So I had to redo the whole thing. Argh dogs. Good thing it was warm and the hose was handy :P

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Per request... *edit*

by my oh-so-gentle-and-mild Erin. Here is a new blog entry. That will only partially be about baby names.

If Bob ever gets a new higher paying job or when I get a job and start creating reliable income I think we will both die of shock at the difference. Money is a worry for all people and we are not in the most dire position but we are certainly in a serious place that requires lots of checks and balances. Still... God has never failed to get us where we need (ok, and many times want) to go. We are blessed and I want to mention it while I am thinking about it, so that when I am forgetting it later maybe I will be able to come back here and remember.

Marley just woke up... probably wants to eat, hopefully not another night terror. >.< Free mid-evening cuddles.
And... back. Poor bebe.

So I feel I need to tell more anecdotes about Marley (and eventually little Gilligan). So when I am furious at my 17 year old daughter for HAVING to have a $150 prom dress I can look back and see how cute she was as a toddler.

Today Marley was getting tired and we were having a rest sitting on the birthing ball, chest to chest, arms around one another and bouncing. She started absently stroking me right under my armpit, then slightly less absently moved her hand further and further into the pit itself. Finally she gave up just feeling it and used both of her hands to raise my arm and have a close up gander of my right pit. Then she did the same thing for the left.

Toddlers do not need much for a discovery, just a couple of armpits.

Sounds like Marley is going to wake up again. Hopefully it is teeth. 8 teeth for a 21 month old... She will have two year molars before she has any of the rest of the teeth she is "suppose" to have. Still better now than later, she is having a rough time sleeping from other toddler distresses so may as well cut those toofers now.

Here is some parenting wisdom I have found that I discovered without being told, maybe I will save someone some time or trouble:

What is safe for one toddler, may not be safe for another toddler. For example: Marley would have both hands and maybe her head in the toilet if you were not right on top of her, holding her back, while Noah is completely uninterested in the john.

An effort or method may fail one day/night and then succeed the following day/night, or week or in a few months. No apparent reason for the failure or the sudden success. Nothing wrong has been done, the kid is just a kid. For example: When we (I) were (was) getting desperate to night wean and keep Marley from freaking out at the same time I tried to give her a sippie cup of water to help her relax. Didn't work. I gave her sippie cup months later and now she has to have it with her at bedtime. Bedtime has gotten easier because of it.

& the best advice I have ever been given is still: OPTIONS. Give the kid options.

Of course it all comes back to baby names.

(yes I know, a lot of Twain influences).

I'm running out of time to convince Erin to find out the gender of her baby. There is still time to contribute cash donations to the "Bribe Bryan" fund. I think it is up to about $140.00 Get your money in now and I will make sure to get you a little print out of the sonogram pictures.


Also it occurred to me that the only thing keeping my bodily changes caused by this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Marley from being badges of honor instead of child-inflicted battle scars is my attitude. I will have to work on that sometime.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


I cannot believe how much food Marley consumes over a 24 hour period. Since 8am she has had a cereal bar, 2-egg omelette with vegetables, a plain waffle, the soup & salad bar at Frisch's (and she ate a lot), a cookie, a box of yogurt raisins and now a hot dog and it's ONLY 2 o'clock AND she just asked for "mo" to "ee".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH growing girls are crazy pig people.

I still have yet to take the next steps in making an "authentic" pirate map. I have the paper tea stained and now I am worrying my brain about geographical shapes and the like. I just need to choose an area and make an "artistic representation" worthy of prime wall space.

Ok here is what Marley ate after I blogged. And this was not an unusual day, this is just the first day I have been tracking.

So before/during lunch... a cereal bar, 2-egg omelette with vegetables, a plain waffle, the soup & salad bar at Frisch's (and she ate a lot), a cookie, a box of yogurt raisins and a hot dog.

And after lunch... (not in order) two boxes of raisins, a yogurt, a cereal bar, a banana, about half a cup of cubed veggies, a chicken patty (one of the sandwiche sized circular ones), 4 little cubes of cheese, a handful of pretzel sticks and a half cup of potato salad.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

All you need is love. Love is all you need.

God is God because He is so busy loving the unlovable.
Trying to do the same, but sometimes I feel too busy to be Godlike. Nothing could actually be further from the truth but it FEELS that way. Love should be at the heart of all that we do, the center of our motivation because God is Love, real Love.

He brought us out of darkness so we could show His light to others right? If that is our purpose than how could I possibly be too busy? Not even being a mother should come between me and the task God has given me.

"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19NIV


Love the unlovable while being unlovable. Complicated.
Being human is complicated. I wish Bob and I could move this circus off the grid sometimes but it's hard to love the world when you're hiding from it.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Mt. Airy "Church"

I remember thinking with despair about people who had kids and lost so much of their pre-child identity. Now I think about myself and the parts of me I left behind when Marley was born and I say good riddance. Marley didn't just make me WANT to be a better me, she actually MADE me a better me.

Of course I am still a WIP but at least it is in progress and not just aspiring to progress.

Very redundant post but my point is made.

My favorite part of today eating spaghetti with Marley. The windows were open and Marley was naked-but-a-diaper but it was warm so it didn't matter. We spent the earlier part of the day at Mt. Airy arboretum with Marley, Harper and some yummy Subway sandwiches. Got some photos of God's amazing handywork.

This is a photo of something horrible that happened to Marley's tongue. I don't know when or how but it is gross and sad (and looks much worse in person). (right hand side of the tongue, by the tooth, almost looks like a reflection).

Poor Starfish :(