Wednesday, July 28, 2010


-Bedtime routine still has me stressed. It takes at the least 45 minutes to get her to go to bed and that is not including pajamas, teeth brushing, books etc. Just the cuddling. I don't want her to cry herself to sleep but I don't want to cry her to sleep either. Bob is supposed to get new his new schedule soon, then I guess he will be taking over her bedtime. That probably won't be tearless either.

-Labor & delivery. I'm not afraid of labor pains and pushing, I am afraid of Marley's reaction to my all day disappearance, the lack of my presence at bedtime. She is COMPLETELY unequipped to deal with anything remotely like independence at bedtime. That is going to fall on my sister who has agreed to watch her overnight. What if it is two nights? Will she come to visit in the hospital? What if she has to leave without us/me? This sucks. I can't look forward to L&D like I did last time because I have guilty panic attacks. I know tons and tons of people have been through this but that really does not help me. Nor does the fact that the transition has to happen and is temporary. No help at all.


-My upcoming trip with my ivillage friends. I am completely not the same online as I am in person.

-Less consequential stuff- browser issues with all laptops, being fat with child, nutrition, Bob's stupid job taking away all the enjoyable aspects of his job abruptly in the name of regionalizing (*add to dictionary*), the new kid's name...

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and I feel it.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Freeze it

bobatwork (4:57:10 AM):
bobatwork (4:57:18 AM): that fridge is like 15k !
HelfixDopo (4:57:58 AM): it better cook the food
bobatwork (4:58:37 AM): well...
bobatwork (4:58:38 AM): Intelligent controls sense usage patterns and adjust accordingly.
bobatwork (4:58:43 AM): thats insane
bobatwork (4:58:55 AM): Sub-Zero equips the Pro 48 with two compressors and three evaporators to keep foods fresher longer and prevent odor transfer.
bobatwork (4:59:17 AM): Sabbath Mode powers down one or both sides of refrigerator for extended periods or just the weekend and the refrigerator-freezer is certified by Star-K to meet religious regulations
HelfixDopo (4:59:53 AM): do they mean religious as in... strict?
HelfixDopo (5:00:06 AM): or as in... kosher technology?
bobatwork (5:00:14 AM): lol no clue..
bobatwork (5:00:48 AM): but it has a fancy light attachment for your living veggies.... basically you can keep your growing herbs.... growing lol
bobatwork (5:01:11 AM): so it almost cooks yoru food..but still 15 k
HelfixDopo (5:01:35 AM): 15k = 2 cars
swot3robw (5:01:43 AM): lol y eah
swot3robw (5:02:17 AM): once we win the lotto and get our house custom made in the woods, i will spluge on a few of them... and complete commercial WOLF kitchen
HelfixDopo (5:02:43 AM): good because our current kitchen's religous laxity is a bit frustrating.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Ultrasound- take 3

Yesterday I had a third ultrasound to check for some issues with placentas etc. Unexpected but it ended up being a very nice experience. I have never had an ultrasound at further than 23 weeks. It makes a difference. That time stuff sure does change a fetus (and good thing too because I would hate it if baby humans came out looking any blobbier than they already do).

Mom went with me and we got to see the boy. Who, incidentally, is still a boy. The ultrasound tech was doing the usual measurements and checking the things that needed to be checked and then she showed us his face. And it WAS a face. His eyes were open and it appeared as though he was staring out at us. Creepy? You bet. Heartwarming? In ways more complicated than my brain can currently express.

Seeing his face was something I didn't know I needed/wanted. Amazing.

He just needs to be named. His smallest measurements put me at 34weeks and 6 days. Officially I was 33 weeks and 2 days I believe. So here is hoping for sooner rather than later... I think.

You can see his eye on the left hand side of his face. It does not justly portray the spectacular humanity seeing it in person did.

Marley is Two.

Marley turned two years old on Wednesday. Two? Really?

I feel like I have lived my whole life with her, the time before her fades from memory preserved only by well, a blog.

Starting on Wednesday Marley stopped her freakish tantrums of angriness. She has been her normal needy and lovely self since then. Her birthday party is tomorrow and she is VERY excited about watermelon and cupcakes she has been told about. "Ku-caaaaaake!"

Every night we read a stack of books before bed and she has three favorites right now. Two are library books so she has about 15 more days to find new favorites.

Her number one favorite was a thrift store find called Frank & Ernest. It is about an elephant and a bear who babysit this cafe while the owner is out of town and they go through the diner language. "Hey Frank, burn one, take it through the garden and pin a rose on it." (Hamburger with tomato, lettuce & onion).
She goes APE over this book. Her favorite part is when they say "...Paint a bow wow red and I need a nervous pudding." (Hot dog with ketchup and a serving of jello) and Frank proceeds to use a paint brush to apply ketchup to a hot dog. I mentioned to Marley how silly this was one of the first times I read it to her and she now has to stop on this page and guffaw and yell how "see-e" it is for several minutes. She LOVES it.

Her second favorite right now is He has the Whole World in His Hands by Kadir Nelson. It is spectacularly illustrated and the words are several verses of the song by the same name. We sing the words and Marley loves it. She calls it the "Lalala" book (not to be confused with her other book which is also "lalala"...) Whenever I sing "in His hands" I poke her and wait and she babbles in a musical singsong voice. Adorable.

The last book is a lift-the-flap book (toddlers love to lift/rip off flaps) and not only is her IKEA furniture set featured in the book but even better... there are "KEYS!" (kitties). Under one of the flaps are four fluffy kittens. Marley starts freaking out as soon as you get to the page. Once the flap is actually up revealing the felines it is over. She is staring at you and back at the kittens expounding on how unbelievably adorable the "keys" are. She gives them all kisses and sometimes she gets so caught up in the moment that she forgets and also pretends to eat them.

Love that kid. Her cuteness makes me anticipate her brother's arrival and feel wracking amounts of guilt about it. Sometimes she flips out when I leave for a short time , what will she feel like when I go into labor and have to go to the hospital? Poor kiddo. I know siblings are worth more than their weight in gold but I don't look forward to her shock.

I love you Marley. Happy Birthday kiddo.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Alphanumerica Personalities- Part Two

I will not defend my craziness but for letters I suspect that I was influenced by the letter characters (Mr. M, Mrs. B, etc) that they taught us in kindergarten and first grade.

And in my defense I don't think the personalities themselves are what qualify me as a complete freak. It's the sordid soap-opera grade web of relationships I have imagined for them that really qualifies me for royal freak status.

A: girl. snotty. way to good at everything.
B: girl. humble. friendly.
C: girl. mediocre. friendly. defensive.
D: boy. in love with C. self-loathing. funny.
E: boy. likable. neutral. outgoing.
F: boy. rebel. quiet. think james dean.
G: girl. matronly. overweight (I know, I know). sweet (G is for Grandma?)
H: girl. boring. reliable.
I: boy. wild. fun. energetic.
J: boy. trendy. snarky. popular. charming.
K: girl. old. straightlace. she makes the rules and keeps them.
L: girl (but barely). loving. thoughtful. neutral
M: girl (again, barely). I never thought much about M.
N: boy. angry. attention-seeking.
O: girl. well rounded (I promise I am not making this up as I go). friendly.
P: girl. best friends with O. young. eager to please.
Q: girl (barely). experienced. strange. talkative.
R: girl. bossy. diva. pretty.
S: girl. quiet. contemplative. pretty. best friends with R.
T: boy. in love with R but too afraid to talk to her, friends with S. He's a lot like the number 7...
U: boy. Never really thought about U much either.
V: girl. skanky.
W: boy. older. wants to be young again. accomplished. W is for midlife crisis?
X: girl. popular. talkative. bossy.
Y: girl. quiet. non-threatening.
Z: boy. mildly retarded.

Ok I am finished now.

Alphanumerica Personalities- Part One

Months ago I was discussing with Erin the personalities of numbers.


Ok, let me explain.
In my head, numbers (and letters) have personalities. Meaning the numbers 0-10 but not extending much beyond that because then I just start thinking of the numbers as being mixtures of the lower numbers. Such as 72 isn't it's own personality it is a mixture of the number 7 and the number 2. Interestingly enough 27 is also a mixture of those numbers but turns out to be a whole different character in my mind. Maybe because the first number is dominant?


I decided I needed to blog about this because I have been assigning the same personalities to the same numbers since I was very young. Their unchangeable personas have not adapted as I have grown older/wiser/more scatterbrained. So if they ever do lose their characters, I want to be able to look back and remember just how crazy I was.

As they say on Marketplace, let's do the numbers.

0: Not surprisingly this number is a very neutral girl number. So neutral it is barely female. (Yes they have genders as well as personalities).
1: Male number. Easy going, likeable, uncomplicated.
2: Female number. This is a very respectable number. Wise, calm.
3: Ohhhhh three. Female. 3 has a serious complex. She is very jealous of her friend, number 2. So while she loves 2, she would also be voted most likely to commit some sort of crime-of-passion.
4: Male number but BARELY. The number 2 and the number 4 are in love and together they are the most likable and balanced numbers you will ever meet... If you could meet numbers. 4 is very sensitive but not in the unbalanced, angry way but in the thoughtful, sympathetic listener type of way.
5: Very male number. 5 is a macho number that thinks all the girl numbers are in love with him and he's after the number 8.
6: Female number. Fun, hip number that likes to hang out with other girl numbers (2,3,6,8,10)
7: Male number. Another macho man but with less success at it than 5. 7 loves 8 and tries too hard.
8: Female number. Another wise and calm number. 8 is the number you would call if you needed someone to give you advice. Of course dialing the number 8 wouldn't get you very far...
9: Female number. Before I knew what being gay or straight meant I knew that the number 9 was a bulldyke. She's also in love with 8 and hates the number 7.
10: Female number. Very maternal number.

Ok that is is it for numbers.

Helfixdopo: Wait till you read my blog.
Helfixdopo: Its a real testament to how insane I am.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Two year olds

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.
-Soren Kierkegaard

Marley is still in the thrall of severe emotional spiking and recessive behaviors (like aggressively trying to get me to nurse) but she is doing some pretty cute things as well.

The other day we went to my midwives appointment (they are every 2 weeks now) (I'm 31 weeks now) (it changes every Tuesday) and she warmed up to the midwife pretty quickly (maybe because it was the midwife I labored with till I was 8 cm. dilated when she was born?) She was showing off her pink outfit and her drawings. Then the midwife let her hold the doppler (the handheld machine that lets you hear the heartbeat) and she listened to her belly. Then she let Marley listen to MY belly with it, Marley loved it! She was told she would be a great midwife someday :)
The other other day we went to the Beach waterpark with Erin & Noah. Marley & I had a great time on the lazy river floating in our intertube. We "uh-oh"ed at every waterfall and twisty turny area and thoroughly lazed the rest of the time.