Sunday, January 30, 2011

Back to the future

Our future has so much promise and possibility that I am annoyed. It has to many choices and to many variables. I cannot even make adeuqate lists to myself on things that probably ought to be decided. I cannot even procrastinate all of them away. They are just there. Opportunity waiting to be seized and executed.

I'm excited and also terrified.

This year is probably the first year since 2007 that I know going in there are BIG CHANGES coming. 2007, 2008, 2010 all took me by surprise but 2011 has pretty much put it all upfront. "Just so you know, your life will continue to be in the blender... all year. Love, 2011"

The Duebber family is changing their dynamic and numbers, Brenyn is moving away, out of state. What will that be like? I'm fairly used to not seeing a whole lot of her due to her crazy on-t0p-of-it schedule and my own off the wall activites but out of state is a new animal. I feel fairly alienated and I only moved to the next county.

College? Bob back to college? Living in Milford. My dad might actually retire? Ralph is retiring.

Brain= KAPOW

The closer I get to the time that I might actually have to leave my kids with someone else the more unwilling I get. I *love* to have a few hours without them. I *LOVE* it. But really... my ideal would be that the babysitter come to my house and just watch them here. Where I can also watch them... and just.. not be holding them at the same time.

I guess what I am really saying is that I am a crazy person.
It's not lost on me that love and resentment go hand in hand sometimes.
Solo awake- got to go.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Marley's required reading list

Marley's favorite books to date have been:

A Day in the Life of Murphy by Alice Provenson (current)
Ivan the Terrier
No Dessert Forever
Frank & Ernest
New Socks by Bob Shea
Big Plans by Bob Shea

But she won't turn down anything.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

My new room

I am typing this on the touchscreen keyboard of my phone in my new room. This house is so different from the other. I never want more square feet than this house has. Trapsing between the rooms... "Sorry Marley you can't poop in the potty right now, Mommy is winded." Also carpet is the forgotten curse blessing. Carpet is perfect to help your rolling bouncing baby boy stay safe. Too bad it is also perfect for collecting baby related gooeyness (sp?). Marley is obsessed with 'my new house'. She wouldbe happy and pleased as punch to show you her new room and new bathroom. Solomon does not care where we live as long as he is warm and fed and I am uncomfortable and have spit on my shoulder. Bob is happy the move is over (mostly) and the little house is listed. I could write a whole year of blogs about how blessed we are but I reserve this post for less graceful emotions and experiences.

The person who seems to have suffered most under the strains of moving is Murphy. Strictly speaking, he is not a person but it's my blog and I do what I want. Murphy has been on everyone's heels since a few days before the move. Always hovering right by you, on you when you sit, behind you, watching always.

Actually on second thought the most suffering person in this move has been the black shark fish. Since he died I would say that qualifies his lot as being the worst deal.

Everyone we have encountered so far in Milford has been very friendly. Strangely friendly. Out-of-their-way-to-chat friendly. Even our server at Ihop while out to dinner with Gigi & Grandpa Bob was very friendly and accomodating... He was also QUITE drunk. Or high. Or both. Regardless... Very nice.
Our house's listing officially went up this morning and had it's first showing this afternoon. Maybe they will buy it. Hope they have patience... Hope they have an imagination too because we have not repainted or cleaned it yet. Yuck. Embarassing.

I had much more to say but I am tired and typing like this is a trial. So I will sum up. Washer dryer insinkerator no worky but magical mom and dad fixed, it worky. Cold weather is making my facebook feed very boring. Marley has become very good at using the facilities. I cannot wait for w2. Dunkin Donuts = the yum.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Rug

I waffled back and forth on whether or not I would blog about the move.

We're moving from our house on Pameleen to stay in my Grandpa's unoccupied other house in Miami Township. It isn't a bad move on our part. It isn't even a lateral move on our part. The house in M.T. is beautiful and it reminds me fondly of my Grandma. The best parts of her. The gracious hostess.

But we're leaving this house. I managed to ignore most of my sadness till tonight. Solomon's bassinet is temporarily in Marley's room and Marley's bed is in Solomon's room (I have my reasons). Solomon woke up and I went in and held him and rocked and nursed him in the dark. It reminded me of the hundred nights I had done that same thing in that same room with Marley. It won't be Marley's room anymore :(

The house we went from being awesome-party-throwers to doing-the-best-we-can-parents in. The cook-offs, the many poker games, the urban deer in the backyard. Our neighbor Don and his wife (whom we call Mrs. Don), the 500 "stray" cats, the place where the bridge was, apartment-watch. So many times, so many things.

I won't be a home owner anymore. I won't live inside city limits anymore. My blog title will be a misnomer.

I am not upset at the direction our family is taking. I will miss our little house. The house I labored in, the house I got engaged in, the house I painted and repainted. I feel like I am relosing Guinness and abandoning all my projects, my reno-dreams.

All this sadness and still I am the most blessed person I know. I am SO blessed.
Thank you little house.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Briefly on the topic of boredom.

Life is as boring as you are. I am not sure who told me that, I forgot but I am grateful. Every time I hear someone say they are bored it makes me want to throw a huge rage to punish them. If you are bored you better make sure you have exhausted your entertainment outlets. Exercise is free, art is universal and I am going to purple nurple the next person who says they are bored. Come on people. If nothing else can possibly interest you watch tv, a movie, READ A BOOK! They have them for free at the library. This is a time where we are so inundated by gogogo seeseesee dododo that we get addicted to the hyperactive amounts of media and stimulation and when moments of stillness happen we don't know what to do with ourselves. Last idea for you : blog your boredom away.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

One of many.

Bob lost his job. But I have trouble being sad about it. We've been struggling so long with our self made situation that it almost feels like a relief. He was let go on Tuesday and didn't tell me till Wednesday (but I knew Tuesday). I see right through Bob's poker face.

So now that door is closed. Let it be locked. More doors are open then ever before. This is an opportunity. God will lead us to something greater if we let Him.

We've taken all necessary steps to finding temporary stability and we've examined our long term goals and I am hopeful.

But more importantly then all those things....

Bob got Solomon to take a snarfer (pacifier)!
So who cares about anything else?

I met with my academic advisor and I got my FAFSA stuff back. All good news. Lots of transferred credits and a solid direction to take. She said I could register for classes the next day (on Friday) when registration opened but I am not ready to go back in February with our situation as it is. Maybe May, maybe September. Maybe December... I don't know. Again, I am hopeful.

Bob asked Marley what he should be when he grows up and Marley said, "An astronaut."
Then he asked what she wanted to be and she said the same thing. So maybe we should move to Florida and be closer to space camp.

Solomon can be laying down without rolling over. Also the little darling has been waking up at 4:30 and 5:30 AM and wanting to hang out and claw, punch and kick me for an hour or more before going back to sleep. NOT COOL MAN. Since Bob is home for now I smell the winds of change for these kids and bedtime. I can't wake up at 3 with her and 1 and 4-6 for him. No way Jose.

Also Bob and I are going to open a restuarant and food truck. The restuarant is called "Eggscalibur" and the truck will be called "Awful Waffle". Brilliant. As Bob would say "ship the loot".

Saturday, January 1, 2011


Soooooo.... So. Potty training must really be imminent now. Marley has gone in the potty a few times before but never with premeditation, intent and purposes. We talk about it a lot. "If you ever need to go pee or poop you know you can tell me and we can use the potty and if you go in the potty I will give you a big treat" etc.

So we went to Ikea today just to get some exercise and any time you take two kids anywhere it is a circus act with their daily luggage and needs. So we get there, browse for about twenty minutes then we decide to get Marley a plate of meatballs. So circus act number two. Public eating event with a toddler. An hour later (Marley makes a plate of meatballs really last) we go back to browsing and Marley starts acting the way she does before a BM so I go through my normal speech about the potty and she says "I want to go potty". Noooo. I verified "you want to go poop in the potty?" She nods.

Ok. Hate public toilets. Especially when my darling precious delicate daughter wants to sit on a toilet the size of a buick. Seriously the mechanics of this situation spelled frustration. So I take off the ergo and hand over Solo to Bob and take princess to the potty. I continue to prattle off my potty training bribes. I include an offer for the cookies we saw during the meatball show. I told her she would get TWO cookies if she went. We get in the bathroom and I hold Marley over the toilet and up so she didn't fall in. FUN. So anyways, she did it. She was pleased as punch about it to. We wash our hands and she goes "Not just one, two cookies!" and she holds up two fingers. Then she runs out and announces to daddy that she pooped in the potty and gets not one but two cookies.

We got home and she did it again. Three M&m's.

She is going to dehydrate herself in her quest for sweets.

Updating my blog from my cell sucks.