Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cookies winning.

Tonight before bedtime we had a cookie party in the playroom. It was awesome. We each had a chocolate toffee cookie except Solomon, he chewed on a nerf dart and JJ the Jet Plane's face.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Marshall & Holiday

This scene plays out on my bed with Marley, Solomon, Holiday* & Marshall*.

Marley: Don't fall off there are alligators!
Me: There are?! Is this a boat?
Marley: Yes it is a biggy one boat with alligators in water.
Me: Uh oh.
Marley: Don't let them eat your sheep.
Me: Do alligators eat sheep?
Marley: Mmm no. Marshall hide hide!
Marshall *hides*: I'm scared of alligators!
Holiday: Don't be scared Marshall. The alligators are far away and we are nice and safe.
Marley: Don't let the alligators eat your baby.
Me: Ok I won't.
Solomon laughing hysterically because Marley is in his face making her afraid face.
Marley: The alligators are sad.
Me: Why are they sad?
Marley: Where did Marshall go?
Marshall: I'm still hiding.
Me: Why are the alligators sad?
Marley: Because them hurt.
Me: How did they get hurt?
Marley: They rubbed their bellies on the rocks.
Me: Oh that sounds rough.
Marley: They sad, they need food.
Me: What do alligators eat?
Marley: Cookies.
Me: Is that right?
Marley: Marshall, Holiday help me throw cookies!
*Marshall, Holiday & Marley all throw handfuls of cookies over and over*
Holiday: How was that?
Marley: They better now. They won't eat the sheep.
Me: I thought they didn't eat sheep.
Marley: They eat your baby.
Me: Ugh but they should be happy now. We fed them cookies.
Marley: Yes they better now. Marshall isn't afraid now.
Marshall: Yes, I am much more confident now.
Marley: You want a cookie?
Marshall: I love cookies!
Marley: I want a cookie!
Me: We already had our snack.
Marley: Marshall wants a cookie.He's afraid of alligators.

This conversation about cookies, fear, alligators and baby danger went on for about an hour. Then Solomon went to bed and Bob came home. Now let me "explain" the really weird part.

A few days ago we were in the car and I invented two characters to keep Marley, who had grown weary of the car, amused. Lacking stuffed animals and actual hand puppets I just put my hands in the classic hand-mouth position and pretended my hands were the characters. We were passing a Holiday Inn so I named my left hand (the girl) Holiday and then we passed Marshall's so right hand was Marshall. Holiday's voice is a poor rendition of a young southern belle and Marshall is a middle-aged black man.

So now you know. I'm crazy and now Marley is being lugged onto the crazy train. She also favors Marshall over Holiday (probably because Holiday's voice is so irritating).

The best part is that I know how crazy this all sounds written down and it is about 50x crazier in reality. I think I need more adult company, I'm turning into a preschool show.

Monday, March 14, 2011


Yesterdayish we were at my parent's and Marley went on a walk with Gpa Bob and gathered rocks for her collection. He put them in a sandwich bag for her and she jabbered about them for the 40 minute ride home. When we pulled into our driveway she says "show daddy my rock election!" and I tell her he isn't home yet and she starts putting the rocks into their bag and says "I'll keep them safe in Grandpa Bob's bag till later."

Maybe her longest sentence yet that actually made sense and was made up of real words. Awesome how cool she is.

Solomon is working less on words, he is focusing his mastery on sitting up and moving around without actual bonified crawling. He's way more of a mover than Marley was at that age.

He is also breaking every female cashier we come across' heart. His killer baby smiles never fail. They always stop whatever they are doing to smile back and talk to him. Then they try to talk to Marley and she levels the stink eye on them. That shuts down their little cooey love fest real quick. <3 these kids

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Dit dat done

I just reread my last blog and I am pretty sure I am crazy.
Regret may be easier to do than showing up but it isn't better.
Everytime i cut my fingernails i have to relearn to type.

Friday, March 11, 2011


I've been rather obsessing over the story of Lazarus and the rich man today. I found this fun study guide on the tale (tale included).

I've been fixated on heaven these past two weeks. Considering how much thought I give to God and all His many innumerable facets I have previously not spent that much time considering heaven. Honestly I have put more of my thoughts wondering about hell and what that must be like.

Thanks to Jesus I am heaven bound and I am grateful. But what am I escaping? How bad is it? Where exactly is it I am headed? What will we do there?

I hope that there is a Record Keeper there (likely a God-facet) who can answer all my many many stupid questions. I have ALWAYS longed to speak with the Record Keeper.

How many words have I read?
What is the closest I ever came to death (without actually dying)?
How many cusswords did I say? How many of them were used in such a way that displeased God?
How many bugs did I kill?

So a few things I hope there are in Heaven. Record Keeper, horseback riding, sunrise-grade beautiful scenery whenever you happen to wake up.

Friday, March 4, 2011

A few of the many

Some of the things I read when going through product reviews have me in snorting hysterical fits of laughter. Allow me to share a few I just found...

Very hart to spell.
"....Very hart to drive."

Redundancy City
"I live in an urban city..."

Assembling sure... Steering?
(Bicycle review) "Easy to assemble even for a guy with one arm."

Negative Nancy
(product given 1 out of 5 stars)"...She is happy so far (I expect many mechanical problems soon)."

This one makes me think of the videos for 'Lowered Expectations'.
"the product was good, but was missing a very important bolt that keeps the front wheel on. i had to run around looking for it . making me very unhappy."

I think my kids are special too.
"Awesome bike. I have a "Special" son and this bike is perfect for him!"

Would you like cheese with that typo?
"I like the product but was disappointed that the product was scratched whine it was assembled."

" mother who is in her fifties so she cannot get around very well."

I'm into that.
"I got many compliments from strangers."