Saturday, February 25, 2012

Birthday Reflection

I change my life everyday
Make decisions for me and my kids everyday
I have to choose what I do and how I spend my time
Where, with whom, and why
Surronding a firepit every self proclaimed great thinker of their time
10 minutes out of college, burdened by the mighty vastness of their own wisdom
Calling out judgements, harsh barking
Like angry animals
Clashing tusk to tusk, locked together in spiteful cohabitation
I'm sorry my sobriety makes you uncomfortable
My sobriety reflecting your decisions
Where, with whom, why and doing what
I'm not judging you but I see a chemical dependence
A belief that the toxins which remove your inhibitions also enable you to think more deeply, speak more freely
From what I can tell they remove your inhibitions for the better except that they also remove your sincerity
I'm not here to judge you, I'm here because it is where you are
I am here to love you, not to guide you
I'm sorry my sobriety makes you uncomfortable
Even when only I remember that there was promises made, words spoke, realizations dawned
I cannot protect you, only love you and be where you are
Meeting rash emotions with my own feelings
Meaning every word

I'm sorry my sobriety makes you uncomfortable.

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