Monday, May 28, 2012

A gift for sh*t talking

Marley : Can we play (Candyland) again?
Me: You already beat me once? How often do you need to win?
Marley: Twice a day. I will beat you and brush my teeth at the same time.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Question upon Question

Response to Genesis 6

Noah did everything just as God commanded him.
Genesis 6:22

This verse becomes much more significant when one takes into account the 11 verses before it. How do you do just as God commands when God commands the impossible? Clearly the answer is: with God, all things are possible.

The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humansand had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.
Genesis 6:5

This verse is so confounding that I scarce know how to respond to it. I have written fiction around it and abandoned it for fear of blaspheming. When I am in Heaven I don't know if I will care or if I will even have to ask, but I long to know what Nephilim really means. I have blogged on this before I am sure, I am certain at least that I have written myself emails about it.

How great You are
You know all there is to know
And know what there is not yet to know
What came before
How it became
Why it became
What will befall
All this, You know.
Let me be content in that
Allow me to draw my security from Your steadfastness
Your incomparable, wider than the universe intellect.
Keep the world from crushing my curiosity
But keep me from the tripping stones 
That tell me I need know all there is to know.
It is beyond my comprehension
Give me grace.

Saturday, May 26, 2012


Response to Genesis 4 & 5
and to Romans 8

Sons followed by daughters followed by sons
Followed again by daughters
Each planned and born in their turn
The codes of their identity bearing the mark of the fruit
That code is death
But there is also life
And there is purpose in it.
Those people who knew there were things right and things wrong
Struggling with their code to find wisdom and holiness
Some may-hap missing the humility and thankfulness that bring richness
Fullness to this purpose we are given
This life
To serve
Not to be served
To create the preordained miracles and arts
For His glory
Building shelters atop the temple
They do not hide His eyes
He walks with us as in the garden
Though eyes cannot look upon Him
I know He is there
As then
Now within me
I have better than freedom
I have guidance, a hope.

I will not use my freedom to wander lost in a copse of fear
Taking the hand of my guide, developing the gifts within me
There is a course that takes me, it steers me true
I will not regret the mistakes I have been spared for the sake of independence
Joy does not come from wrong-doing
Let me ever seek love
May His face be upon me
Knowing me
Hearing the prayer Jesus spoke for me in that other garden.

My God is at home amongst flowers and trees.

Monday, May 21, 2012

My scary child

Marley: chickens are sometimes ingredients. They have to have their heads cut off. We don't eat chicks, they're too small.

No more cooking shows for Marley.

Bob has a job interview right now and I'm very hopeful it will result in a job offer. I want to get off the government assistance and unemployment. I want to know where the money is going to come from. I pray that it is God's will that this will be the time. I'm thankful to God for providing for us through miraculous ways and through the government programs. I pray thay we will become self sufficient again.

God thank you for my parents who have been so helpful and generous financially and more importantly, psychologically.

Let this be the day!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

You are Wonder

Reeponse to Romans 8

When my head touches my pillow
And I arrive in that first moment of stillness
The entirety of my consciousness focused on that momentarily empty purple space
I will my thoughts to ponder You
To glide and alight on each blessing
To consider each and make count myself thankful

Between each landing mayhap I get distracted
Misguided adventure breeding little more than worry
But You, the lover of my soul, stay with me
Despite my neglect You aggressively love me
You chose me once and it is finished.
Help me to choose You
To have worthy thoughts and bring me back from my straying
Be my first thought in the morning and my ending thought at night
You are wonder
There is no end to Your complexity and nuance
I will delight in discovering You.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

God of Nature

Genesis 3 Response

How right a curse for woman. To have a husband rule over her. So difficult, so complex, so humbling and yet there are rewards inherent in the curse. What a loving God.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day. Genesis 3:8


Close to the heart of God
If I could choose the place the day I see Him.
The dawn after my body has returned to dust.
A meadow with knee high grasses, gold and green
The horizon full of trees, broad leaves moist and shining
Laying a step onto those sweet grasses, one slow
Then another, another
Till I am running
Unencumbered by pain or sadness
Moving assuredly in the grace of God
Though I run to meet Him, He is already with me
But when I see Him, really see Him
It is new
All things going exactly right all at once
Everything going my way
I discover joy
He will not send me away because He knows me
And there in the comfort of that knowledge
I will be with Him and He will speak
All the things I never knew, that I needed to know
Telling to me in detail what I am worth
And at what cost I was redeemed.
Let me then ask You my Father
Where the colors came from
What gave birth to mountains, tree and sea
Does the Beginning, and the End, the incredible I AM
Give rise to all things because there could be no other way?
Or does man's imagination model in minutia that of His?
Did You dream of a creation first
Then set the universe in motion?
Glory be to God alone.
We will sing in that place forever and ever.

Monday, May 14, 2012


Let me paint you a scene of preschool swim class. 3 little blonde girls and three boys. All sitting on the side of the pool with their feet in the water, some fiercely clinging to their goggles. One by one they take turns in the water with the instructor blowing bubbles or kicking their legs. Having either careful smiles or grim determined faces. The three little blonde girls all pay strict attention to what the instructor says. One of the boys slurps water off the pool deck till his mother intervenes with stifled gagging saying "if only you knew." One of the boys "accidentally" drops the float toy he was given in the water over and over, simulating a three year old's version of poolside drama. The third boy uses his goggles to cup pool water into his mouth over and over, apparently thirsty.
All 6 children managed to go under the water without crying. So today will be considered a victory.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

That Presence

Genesis 2 Response

Before the time that lust permeated the fabrics of our lives
There was a shameless time
In this time that word is one thing
In that time that word was another
Though it would have meant nothing.

Nothing because shame was not yet a concept.
A word unnecessary and by man unforeseen
Adam, my forefather stood naked
Beside him, Eve my foremother, naked too.
It was not wrong, it was not to be hidden
It was intended, they were known
They knew
Beside them, God.
What did they see?

Naivete the word that I would ascribe to them both
Though I daresay that on seeing His face, surely they knew Him
Did they prostrate themselves at that miraculous moment
When mankind came into being?
Did God call forth the dust and the dust form a man 
Instantly did the man fall, awed and thankful?

When both had been formed could they sit in God's presence
Did our God walk in the garden with these two listening to their reflections
Charmed by mortal indelicacy?

I envy my fore-bearers that Presence. 
Though I could not say that I would trade it for the Spirit within me.
Not with so great a judgement coming, not with an opponent
So crafty, so malicious.

In this time, the one I live in
I will abide by God's decree
The priesthood He has called me too
It is enough to think upon the Garden and wait
For I too will be in the Presence
On that day
That day when I too shall fall
A body tempted to rest for eternity
Knowledge my reward.

Now is

Genesis 1 Response

One thought and You had begun an ocean like no other
Not separated by dirt nor sand
One body
A flicker of Your will and suddenly upon the water
Colors flow, drawn out and shining 
A myriad of reflections, light and water
From glorious blinding gold and bright
You draw the reflections again with softness
Glistening from the face of the otherwise dark deep ocean

Shoulders rotating slowly, palms turning down
Now there was a place
Something You knew was truly beautiful
A temple wide and far yet cradled delicately in the place You created
Achingly beautiful You made the forms
Delicacy and strength, a balance circling endlessly 
Riotous color exploding from the dust, the dust itself greater than magic

Arms extended, hands spread far, the stars born breathless rise into the vastness
I cannot know them any more than I can know nothing at all.
The evening's subtle glows pointed back to the heavens
Set above the temple You gave us the day.
A way to see and count the nights

In the seas there was motion
Things only You could have created, wondrous and horrible to behold
Mysteries some like the heavens
Upon the air You placed the wings of creatures
Unlike You and yet You know them
You put onto the land the hooves, the claws, the scales and paw
Each purposed, each intended
It will be where once it was not.
You spoke and LIFE.
The ocean at Your feet, the stars a crown
In Your own image You began mankind
Heart knowing and fiercely loving

There is not, was no longer
The temple with priests walking along the soil
Man's heart filled with feelings of gladness, nearness and being 
Unable to ever know nothing at all again
Only now able to learn, to rejoice
To raise up songs of pure gratitude

Your were with them on that temple
You called it Good
Where it was not, now was and
You called it Good.

Confrontation & Fairness

I went out with some lovely friends this evening. Rachael, Harper, Jenie and by accident Nathan. While rebuking the general behaviors that leads to confrontation, I jokingly defined confrontation as anytime we communicate with anyone we do not already know.

After a 35 mph drive home watching (with hawk like focus) for raccoon and other road undesirables and doing some general evening reflecting I realized that I might actually believe that definition. Or at least I am left feeling confronted after I talk to people.

I will have to reflect further on this. Feel free my general audience to comment and suggest anything you may feel will be helpful on this subject.

I keep making conscious efforts to stop trying to make sure life is fair for myself. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself that I need to aggressively change all unfair aspects of my environment. I need to un-convince myself because it does not make for a better life.*

*(I'm not talking sexual/racial/ethnical equality here people) (those are things that should be fair)... (but maybe there are ways to better react to those situations as they arise)... (yet another thing requiring reflection).

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Snipes and Norris?

Our latest madness. I want to name them either Ripert and Bourdain or Monet and Debussy. Since I'm I'm charge of poop I feel I should get my way.

The spirit of Victorian times.

Marley's response to this was "I think the baker needs to do it."

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Marley: I have two daddies!
Bob (not looking): Mmmno you don't.
Marley : I do when I do this.
Bob looks to see Marley is looking at him with crossed eyes.

Every morning I feed Solo honey nut Cheerios and Marley raisin date and walnut oatmeal. Then when they are finished I have my cereal (Great Grains with pecans and I like to add banana) and every morning Solomon stands next to me with mouth agape like a baby bird waiting for handouts.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

God the dodecahedron (sp?)

I was laying here on my ridiculously wonderful bed wishing I could see the moon and wondering how God came up with the moon atmosphere and surface. Then I was trying to think what type of mood I would have to be to create the moon. Then i was trying to remember out if God having moods was against scripture. Then I was thinking about the book I am reading which has a god for pretty much everything. Everything. Then I was thinking that because I am artist and a parent God's most appealing elements are His creativity expressed in creation and His paternal love for us. That is all. Goodnight