Friday, August 31, 2012

S-o-l-o-m-o-n

I am only two classes in but Statistics seems less like math and more like reading comprehension. You will be punished for skimming through that paragraph!
My Stats professor gives blessedly few homework assignments. I did one and managed to put myself a week ahead. <3 class="goog-spellcheck-word" span="span" style="background: yellow;">Meghyn's
brand of math.
I should report that on Thursday I had a earthly perfect day. I enjoyed my classes, my kids were perfect darlings in their classes, no tempers flared, my husband was a doting gentleman, I got to go to the gym, I got to drink almond milk... Little things here and there went wrong but nothing that prevents me from reporting the day as (earthly) perfection.

Ate and played at the Duebber's house. Awesome. Chaos.
Toby (talking to Bob during dinner), "Would you rather eat monkey brains or... your own beard?"
Kids can bicker for hours and still enjoy themselves. Like mini-politicians. Robyn only gave me two cookies. I suspect Solomon got at least two and half. Like it was his birthday or something...

SOLOMON IS GOING TO BE TWO YEARS OLD TOMORROW.
He's right on target for just about everything, except his giant head. It is very advanced. On the rides to school we drive over a huge expanse of train tracks and he calls out to the "Choo-choos" appreciatively. Later in the ride we pass a fire station and he admires the "TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!"
He wants to eat only bread, cookies, juu (juice) ba-ba (bananas) and ap-pah (apples). Compared to Marley he is a picky eater.
The ball area at the museum is his favorite place to be. He can put on his own shoes if he feels like it.
Sharing is NOT his strong point but is very good at returning the items he steals when he sees it has upset his sister. They adore each other.
He has a favorite shirt, he cooperates excitedly when he sees he gets to wear it. It is a crudely illustrated dinosaur with a speech bubble that says "RAWR!"
Solomon likes to stomp around, picking his knees up high with a squishy angry face pretending to be a dinosaur. We refer to him as Deegie-dinosaur.
He is referred to most often as Solomon, Solo or Deegie (Marley's nickname for him).
He reminds me of Davey from Anne of Green Gables. All trouble and adorable cherubic face.

Bullit points.

  • Switching from quarters to semesters mean professors say "Oh wait..." a lot while they read their syllabus to the class.

  • One of my professors missed her call to the televised pulpit. It's what MLK Jr. would have sounded like if he (was a woman and) teaching a humanities class.

  • I have another professor who only says "good question" after bad questions.

  • Why do some people use an apologetic voice when they introduce themselves?

  • I have a professor who has mastered every power point trick in the book. I would make fun of this except I find it genuinely impressive.

  • Another of my professors (I have 6) moves and generally behaves like a confused tyranosaurus rex. "I got the moves like t-rex." He also has the fine art of self-interruption and conversational procrastination mastered.

Siblings

On the way home on the first and second day of school I noticed this going on.
Not sure about what's going on with Solo's face in that one pic but it's still really sweet.



Thursday, August 30, 2012

From an email devotional

By Lysa TerKeurst

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'" Matthew 16:24 (NIV)

Last year, we logged over twenty hours in the car during the joy-filled excursion called family vacation. It was family bonding at its finest. Here's a little glimpse of the sweet conversations heard coming from the backseat.

Ashley: "Mom, Brooke just licked my hash brown! Ewwwwww!" Me: "Brooke, why would you lick your sister's hash brown, for heaven's sake?" Brooke: "Because my arm hurts." Me: "Oh. Well, that just makes complete sense."

And that's just one little exchange. There may have been 127 other instances when the soundtrack of my car-traveling life was, "Mom ... she poked me, and she is on my side, and she just spilled her drink, and she took my iPod."

And, on occasion, I may have wanted to jump in the backseat and remove every shred of candy from my little tweenager's hands and dump it out the window. But I really didn't want my mean girl or my mean mommy to come out on the family vacation.

Have you been there? Honestly, the last thing that pops into my mind in those frustrating moments is: What does Jesus say about this?

I wish it did. So I'm trying to think about this now, in a non-heated moment. That way I can be better prepared for the next time my mean girl tendencies surface.

According to our key verse today, Jesus says we must do three things. But these aren't three easy steps. They are three shifts of the heart: we have to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him (Matthew 16:24).

Deny myself ... I have to deny myself the momentary satisfaction of the quick comeback, the rude response, and the full-out yelling. Over-sugared children can elicit craziness in a mama. Not that I have any personal experience with such things. No, not at all. And if you believe that, I've got some Easter candy off on the side of the road somewhere I could sell you.

Deny myself. It's hard. But it is the way with Jesus.

Then I must take up my cross ... My cross. Stop the blaming and finger-pointing and wishing everyone else would change and see my sinful reaction as a contribution to the problem at hand. I must take my issues to His cross and see my sin for what it is—sin. And I must be disgusted enough by my sin to truly want to do something about it.

Take up my cross. It's hard. But it is the way with Jesus.

Finally, I must follow Him ... Really follow Him. Follow who He is and how He is. I must close my mouth, pause long enough to let Him interrupt my eruption, and let His Spirit redirect me.

Yes, my children need to be corrected, but I can let the consequences scream so I don't have to. Only a calm mama can think of rational, reasonable consequences that instruct.

Follow who He is and how He is. It's hard. But it is the way with Jesus.

It's amazing how quickly my mean girl vanishes when I deny myself, admit my sin, and choose to let Jesus interrupt me.

Just don't be licking my hash brown if your arm starts hurting, okay? I have to draw the line somewhere.

Dear Lord, I don't want my mean girl to come out when I'm angered or aggravated. Give me the self-control to deny myself, stop blaming others, and choose to follow You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Getting to know me again.

First day of school went very well. I only had one setback and we recovered. Solomon and Marley both made it to their classrooms on time for me to be on time and neither of them cried. I did a little but not so much I couldn't cover it with sunglasses and recover in the elevator.

I have learned a few things in school so far:

1. A syllabus is perfect indicator of your professor's personality. A spacey adjunct, a whimsical "spiritualist", a classroom dictator. Tomorrow I predict I will meet a tightlipped disciplinarian, a off-the-cuff clown and a normal person.

2. I still like public speaking. I managed to give a public speaking presentation and made the whole class laugh (on purpose).

3. Things go so much better when God is in control.

4. Being a "W" = way more wait than being a "G". I was a "last but not least" twice today. Thanks to Zealman (spelling?).

Also, I stepped on a staple with my barefoot right before having to practise deep breathing and self awareness in Yoga. I will explain how I ended up in yoga later... it's complicated. Staple in the foot is not complicated. It is, however, painful. More later.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Peacemail

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
 
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3
 
When I said, “My foot is slipping,
your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. 
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy.

Psalm 94:18-19
 
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8

These are verses I have recieved in my email this week. Uplifting and validating. Praise God.
Tomorrow is my first day of classes. Marley's too. Solomon's three.

God, give us all peace and trust during this huge transition in our family. Help me to look back fondly but without regret or too much longing. Give me discipline and strength. Be there for my children, a quiet voice speaking peace to them. Amen.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The sounds of tragedy.

I wish there was a way to un-hear things.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Of course you did.

Marley: Does compost start to stink if you put in aveerly?
Me: What?
Marley: Does compost start to stink if you put in aveerly?
Me: What is the last word you are saying?
Marley: Aveerly.
Me: ...say it again.
Marley: *exasperated sigh* Does compost start to stink if you put in aveerly?
Me: *searching for context or helpful memory, getting nothing* Marley I think you must be confusing that word because I don't know what it means.
Marley: That's because I just made it up.

G-chat with Baba

me:  hey
what is your degree in again?
 Sent at 9:04 PM on Thursday
 me:  I think I figured out what I have a passion for. I just read about a field and I got all giddy because it sounded so right, thats a good thing right?
 brenyn:  bachelors of education and allied professors family studies
it is
 me:  what i was going to do!
 brenyn:  huh?
 me:  I was going to get BS in educ. But now I have been endlessly searching professions/careers/majors and I found one I love the sound of.
 brenyn:  yeah it is a good thing , depending on what your reading thought since most things can sound good on paper lol
what is it
 me:  I don't think so. I think everything sounds awful. I have been realizing lately that I don't get excited much anymore, about anything.
BS in Health Education and then a MA in Health Administration.
 brenyn:  i think the more you know the less exciting things are in genereal
 me:  Vic can hire me some day when he has his own prac :)
Or vice versa.
:D
I have ALWAYS wanted a chance to work in a hospital.
 brenyn:  health admin is good can be a tough field with health care the way it is and death etc
 Sent at 9:09 PM on Thursday
 brenyn:  i can do you there
see*
not do thats weird
 me:  Yeah bound to be a big transition with insurance changing.
Creep.
 Sent at 9:11 PM on Thursday
 me:  I always see people wrecking their bodies and want to do something to help them and I feel like I can actually identify with the suggested personality for the field.
Which I never have. Usually I am like "Umm I could be that way I guess."
And death does not bother me, suffering does though.
 Sent at 9:13 PM on Thursday
 me:  plus I am interested in the big money from health administration. *cough
 Sent at 9:14 PM on Thursday
 brenyn:  yeah i mean any degree you can make what you want out of it
 me:  yeah
 brenyn:  you think that will get you where you wanna go, go for it
brb gotta run
 me:  k
Man plans, God laughs.
 brenyn:  lol we gotta make plan or we are sitting here waiting lol
 me:  <3
-.--.-.-.---.-.--..-.-.-.-.-.--
-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--
 
In the meantime I am making endless charts. As perscribed in my textbook entitled "Career Acheivement" I need to tally the positives and negatives (for everything), note my strengths and what I want to work on and put on paper some quantitive goals. Some of it sounds like witchcraft but I can understand the having mesaurable goals on paper part. I have a to do list each day because it gives me something to aim for and feel proud of when I cross things off. Why not have a to-do (to-try) list for the longer term?
 
I am probably arriving later than a lot of people at this conclusion but hey, I got there.
Don't laugh at me, I bruise like a peach.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Mock up run Winslow trifecta (2 pictured).


Blessed.... with questions!?

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? -Romans 8:32

Thankful for this opportunity to go back to school.
For my health and the health of my family.
For access to such enriching activities like the Museum Center, Kings Island, the libraries, the YMCA, church and the zoo. All such splendid opportunities to just engage as a family (and be surrounded by neat stuff).
How the first pages of my statistics book is about how unreliable statistics are.
That today went well when we did a mock-up run to school 3 Winslows strong. We made it in time (time to spare). We traversed all the steps and then on the way out found a better route.When I asked Solomon if he liked his teacher Miss Leia he nodded. Marley likes her teacher Miss Tracy and the room she is going to be in. I mentioned to her that she would be expected to nap and she seemed highly amused by the idea. She has only napped on the odd occasion since she was 1-2. I let her choose her blanket and pillow(-pet) to take with her. We will see how it goes.
For Solomon singing "Alligator" over and over and over and over and over and over in the car.
That Marley will learn how to read soon so she can STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS. Believe me, I am glad she can talk, happy she will talk to me but the questions...
Marley: What are you making?
Me: Marinara.
Marley: What is that for?
Me: We can use it on pasta or for dipping bread into.
Marley: Why do you want to dip bread into it?
Me: Because it tastes good and this marinara is super healthy.
Marley: Why is it super healthy for you?
Me: Because it has a lot of healthy ingredients and I didn't add anything that wasn't healthy. So you get all the vitamins and fiber without the yucky stuff.
Marley: Why didn't you add yucky stuff?
Me: Because it makes us less healthy.
Marley: Why does it make us less healthy?
Me: Because it keeps our bodies from using energy in the right way.
Marley: Why does it stop us from using our energy?
Me: Because it messes with our metabolism.
Marley: Why does it mess with our metabolism?
Me: Because it's yucky stuff.
Marley: Yucky stuff? What is yucky stuff?
Me: The unhealthy stuff I left out of the sauce.
Marley: Why didn't you put in yucky stuff?
Me: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This has to be how You feel God talking to me.
(and keeping with that statement)...

If there is no night in Heaven what will happen with the moon? Or will the sun be gone as well? It seems a little sad to lose the moon.
-.-.-.-.-----.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--

Marley was reading "Uh Oh. I'm Sorry" to herself (aloud of course) and I heard her say "Sometimes even parents make mistakes... just the daddies."
Bob says I told her to say it. I really didn't, she's just perceptive.
.-.-..-..-.....-.-.-.----...--.-.
I should mention that Bob is working hard to build a concept for his dream to become a reality. Working on menus, brands and equipment lists to create a business plan he can pitch at someone. He made curried saurkraut which is good enough to build a hot dog/sausage cart empire on I say. Noms. Meanwhile he works for Green B.E.A.N. and builds fruit bins for the man all day.

I think he should name his food truck JOHN STAMOS. That way when people are walking on the street they will say, "Hey look! It's JOHN STAMOS!"
Bob thinks he should name it Hot Bob's. #Unsure

Monday, August 20, 2012

How many days? O.O

My first day of classes is in 8 days. Despite some back and forth on availability, my kids are now safely enrolled in the child care program at the college. I have been praying every night that a spot would open up and now it has (again). Thank you God for this blessing. It means I will be a few minutes walk away from my kids while I am at class and I will have some downtime between classes to do homework without Solomon demanding I supply 4-90 cups with varying degrees of liquid contents that he can slosh back and forth into each other and then spill on the floor. And without Marley asking me if I like her coloring and then when I say "Yes", her saying "Why do you like it?" and then after I state 2-3 things I like about her asking "Why do you like that about it?" and me replying why I like those things about it, her asking why I like those things I like about it... Do you know how hard it is to justify a justification of a justification? It is difficult. Especially while you are trying to convince your solar-powered calculator to work even those it is completely convinced it is too cloudy to work today.
..-.-.-.-.-.----.-.-.-...-.--.-.-.-...
I hate pain relievers almost as much as I hate pain.
-..-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.--..--.-.-
Solomon's birthday party is in planning mode. I am a little late, usually I like to give myself a full 3 months for prep but I dropped the ball. Luckily I had already purchased the "necessary" accouterments.
.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-....---.
I do not believe I officially covered this topic but last month my wittle bitty baby sister got engaged to her long time friend Vic. Horray for that! Now Brenyn gets to try out the new stages of life that proceed immediatly after 'engagement'.
-.---.-.--.-.-.-.--.--...--.-..-.-.-
I want a pair of leather mocassins. I took Marley to Meijer and Target to get her school "supplies" (although we are not to the stage in life when school supplies are super exciting yet). She got to choose a big girl backpack and she chose the pinkest one with the world's largest cupcake on it. She also got to choose a new pair of shoes. Regrettably, I would not let her choose the sequined covered high tops or the ballet slippers, it had to be gym shoes (with NO LACES). She chose the pair that were (of course) hot pink from the tip of the tongue to the depths of their sole.
She puts on the shoes and puts on the back pack and she looks like a big girl with a giant cupcake bag ready to take on the world. I just hope that she is because I have serious worries about....
..---..-.....-.-.-..-.-..-....-.-..
My super shy girl and prone-to-hysterics boy. Child care is a big change for us. It makes me feel sick to think about it. Being away from them so many hours seems crazy to me, totally lunatic. What will they do without me? Who will open the fridge and fetch the 4-90 sippie cups? Parenting is so very, very painful.

Thank you God. For my children and this opportunity You have given my family and I. I pray that You would help me to glorify You during this time while I search down this current path. Help me to find that place where I can be in this world but not of it and serve Your higher purpose. Be a lamp unto my feet and light my path. God I pray that while I am engaged in work and school that You would place other Christian influences into my children's and husband's lives. Give me discipline, patience and wisdom. To You be the glory and honor. Amen.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Thankful for..

Peaceful tower building.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Thank You God...

For Marley cleaning her room secretly because she thought I would like it.
For Jenny's visit.
For being born in the US.
For opportunities to just experience things as a family.
For having a toddler and not a baby and the ability to cope with daily skull trauma.
For grace and hope!
For the problems that give me a chance to grow my patience and humility without buckling my current life.
For the way to go even if I am not sure of the map and whether or not I am reading it upside down.
For classical music from numerous countries.
For the chance to go to the Reds game with Bob for the first time together.
For flowers, trains and heroes who rescue little boys' lost stuffed animals.
For the chance to have grandchildren.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Praise God


God is in control

Joseph did not worry about whether or not Pharoah was hiring or if there was a position open in the dream-interpreting program.
.....

God thank you that yesterday that when I introduced the bicycle that my kids behaved and took turns.

That no one died during tonight's spider-in-the-bath episode.

That there were clear "no" markers on child care centers and one that I really liked.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Nothing I am about to say is serious.

Should I major in Dairy Science or Tuba?

In what economical climate were majors like Film Studies, Horse Production, Meat Science, Professional Golf Management and Turfgrass Management deemed liable career options?
What do people majoring in things like Physics, Public Health, Resource Management, Respiratory Therapy say when they meet someone who says something to the effect of "Oh I am a Modern Greek major."?

Swine Production I understand perfectly. I majored in bacon, baby.

Haggai and Trust

You worked very hard to produce all of those things. But I struck them with rot, mold and hail. And you still did not turn to me,' announces the Lord.
Haggai 2:17

We cannot know how much good comes from bad.
Trust is something people scoff at or attribute to naiivete, but I will trust in the Lord and He will justify me.
....---.--.--.--..-....-.-.--.-..--.---.-..-...

Choose Now Who You will Trust

I cannot know how far the heavens extend
Nor what depth has the universe
But that I should know greater than the Lord
so often do I assume.
What a fool, I.

He who applied the desire of His will
And the Earth formed and filled
Or I who struggle from one day to the next
To know my own mind
Whom shall I believe?

Will I count as certain what is best for me
Based on my puerile persepective
Drawn from only what I see before me
Or will I come back to the plan
Written by the master
Who has known every nuance
Every aspect
The whole world for a fact?


Thankful for..

The moments when you are able to get over yourself.

Fine art (some of it).

Baba being in town!

God providing enough.

Our sunflowers!

The color of the trees this morning.

Tigers.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Mudathalon picture *edit* pictureS

The 200 foot stretch of mud from a spectator area.

Debbie after the first obstacle- a giant dirt hill surrounded by a mud moat.

Debbie going down slide with Bob in foreground.
 Me recovering from slides.
 Bob in the final obstacle before the finish line.
 Me in the final obstacle.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Mudathalon and what I am thankful for.

No one was injured at the Mudathalon today and I was given a bottle-opener as a medal. Smacks a little ironic for me. Still praise God for the marvelously unique ways there are to spend time with family. Good attitudes (were regained) and bodies remain whole (even if I cannot get all of the dirt out of my ears.
.----.--.-.-.-.-..--.-..-.---..-.-.-....----...-.
At the mudathalon Debbie, Bobby and I ran a stretch and then started doing the obstacles. They varied in difficulty. Started with a very large mound of dirt surrounded by a moat of mud, had to go up which surprisingly enough, is easier than going down. Then there were these giant spools that had to be lept up and climbed over. An excessive amount of monkey bars (I DID ALL OF THEM!) several hay bale pyramids, they were not your average size bales, they were probably 4x the normal size. Round bales that proved to be the most difficult obstacle for me. I just wasn't tall enough to leap it. I had to wedge a foot in to gain purchase enough to get over. We ran through a barn full of goats and ponies (PONY!)  There were two instances of 200 feet stretches of 3 foot deep mud and water, with lines going across which forced you to crawl under them. My darling husband took that opportunity to throw mud in my face (on purpose). Plotting revenge gave me something to think about while I was doing the other obstacles. The trail went into the woods and there were multiple cliffs that had to be rappelled. The cliffs by the way were either sheer or covered in mud. Some of the muddy ones had charming little tree stumps sticking out at odd angles. I wonder how many butts got damaged on those today?
There were tight ropes and big wheels we had to climb through. My least favorite were these small tubes. The openings were maybe... two and a half feet in diameter that you had to crawl through. The tubes by the way were not smooth, they were slightly bumpy. Making it a bit easier to pull yourself through since it was too small too actually crawl but ruining your knees. Unpleasant if the person ahead of you slowed or stopped especially. No space and no light. Yuck.
We had to travel through deep wide creeks (maybe 25 feet wide and 3-4 feet deep). That was more difficult than a lot of other things because there were holes and rocks everywhere. You could never quite be sure of your footing. Close to the end of the race is "the slides". Thick rubber tarps laid down over a very steep hill., each one with a tiny U shape and a hose at the top. Guess what was at the bottom? 4 feet of mud.
When we first approached it, my first thought was "Bob hates water slides." My second thought was "I hate heights." It was a BIG steep hill. It is about one heavy rainfall from being a cliff. But before I could have my third thought Bob had taken a step onto the slide and was FLYING down the slide. He hit the water like a torpedo, completely submerged. Debbie went next (I was still waffling at the top, nursing my second thought) and she screamed (happily) all the way down and she actually sailed across the top of the water before going under. So I did it. I was submerged in the mud, no way around it. I may or may not have held my nose. There is definitely mud in there. I found out later that Bob had not suddenly developed a love of water slides, he actually slipped and just covered it well, lending him a courageous appearance.
The last obstacle is the second turn through the 200 feet of 3 feet mud. The full 200 feet is surrounded by spectators who cheer you on or boo you if you do something wussy like walk on the side or try to step over the lines that you are supposed to crawl under. And the occasional person was throwing mud balls at racers. Then you cross the finish and they hand you a 10"x10" moist towelette, a bottle of water and a medal (can opener)  around your neck.

LUCKILY they provide very SOPHISTICATED methods of getting yourself washed up. Can you guess what that method was? 4 feet of mud... water. It was freezing and there were 20-30 other people in it, trying to talk either themselves or other people into full submersion. I dunked myself 4 times and I still looked like a backwoods dreadlock Rastafarian with no access to plumbing.

It was a lot of fun. Thanks Debbie for inviting us!
.-.-.-.-.---.---.--..-.--.-.-.-.-.

Solomon could have been injured severely today by 3 rough housing dogs but wasn't. Thank you God!

Marley asking for "salad" on her sandwich for second-lunch.

The Duebbers for basically watching our kids all weekend, even with short notice.

My health. My strength. My patience. (I say "my" but these things are all from God).

Vanilla almond milk (it is really amazing).

Bob's curried sauerkraut on hot dogs.

God has taken away my fear today about money. It tries to creep back, but the worry isn't from Him. He has provided every step, every day. It is my decision to be joyful in God's sufficiency. Jehovah Jireh!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Blessings

I am thankful that in the countless times I have tip toed into one of my sleeping children's rooms that I have never found them kidnapped or dead.
That while Solomon enjoyed his ice cream sandwich, he managed miraculously not to make a big mess.
That God never gave me that bengal tiger.
For the chance to read books to my children.
For having been born in North America.
For tzatziki sauce. (Sp?)
Creative outlets are numerous.


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Blessings

.---.-..-...--.-.-.--..-.--.----..--.---....---.-.
Marley and I got to spend some 1:1 time today at the YMCA. She has come along way in her relationship with water and swimming.

Solomon's ability to communicate is taking leaps and bounds. "Mama, mama, mama. Help.

House." (He wanted me to get a doll house down from a high shelf). "Mama, mama. Watch this." *blows bubbles in smoothie* It is way easier to parent a kid you can talk to.

Stumbled across a chapter in the bible today that was particularly poignant to me. I got the message, it was painful, but better to have the message than stumble in the dark for answers.

-.----...-.-.-.-..-..-.-.-..-....-----.-.-.-..--.-.

Tomorrow is the Mudathalon. Have to get up distastefully early to drop the kids off and get where we need to go but happy to have the chance to do something like this.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The science of blessing

This exerpt from an article (which I was looking at for other purposes) I found pretty much defines my feelings about my personal seasons of depression and the way they have been approached by doctors.


The Christian and the non-Christian approach the universe differently and hence they define it differently. The humanist believes this world is all there is. Life is defined chemically and physiologically, within totally naturalistic confines. They reason that if the reality of our world is entirely natural, then definition is relatively easy. Given enough time, all things can be defined after sufficient research, dissection, experimentation, or study. From a Christian perspective, this is not true.
Leviticus 17:11 makes clear that life is "in the blood" but it is even more clear that life is not from the blood, but from God. (Genesis 2:7). To understand life we must look beyond life to God. Definition has to be more than naturalistic: it goes beyond us and our world, and is thus in essence impossible. For us, therefore, science is not definitive but descriptive and theological. Science will become more productive if it abandons its goal to define naturalistically (which leads to theoretical science) and limits itself to description in terms of theological premises.
by R. Rushdoony February 1, 1984
Here is the rest of the article if that's your bag.


So I had no intention of making any statements on my psychological treatment history but when I read that I had to post it.

Blessings today:
Grocery store!
Having enough kroger points to get $1.20 off a gallon on gas.
I didn't bark once at either of my children today thanks to a gift of patience.
Discovering (on a whim)  that NKU will save me a lot of money on tuition in the future.
Knowing that no matter what happens, my children will be cared for because I have a supportive family.
VANILLA ALMOND MILK!*
Being strong and fighting temptation to succomb to weaker (distracting) nonproductive leisure.
My mother in law!
During the day's family crisis there was no blood shed or (significant) hair loss and it ended in laughing.**
Did not feel restive all day.
Bob made dinner (Greek) and cleaned the kitchen without being asked. (Clearly God still does miracles).

*Marley refuses to believe this stuff does not count as dessert. Some may argue it does. But it doesn't, so neh.
**I use a handful of hair accessories to keep my hair out of my face at the gym. They became firmly entangled in my hair. I had no choice but to call Bob in to help me get them out. Marley and he stared at my head for awhile before he started working the mess loose and she covered my eyes telling me not to look.
Bob: Well on the bright side if it does get stuck, it looks cute?
Me: Really?
Bob: No. Well... if you think rats' nests are cute, yes.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Small Blessings

I started getting this daily email and it challenged me to write down some of the little blessings I get each day. I'm not sure I will get to it every day on the blog but I do a fair job of remembering it in prayer (thanks to Marley).

So today:
My kids slept till almost 9. Ay-may-zung.
Solomon was pretty temperate considering he had no nap today.
After a day of overstimulation Marley had a horrible breakdown but recovered after God helped me keep my cool, she was like sunshine after rain. We managed to do bedtime in a peaceful and loving way.
Almond vanilla milk is incredible.
It is so easy to get a preschooler to laugh.
Tomorrow we can go to the grocery store.
You can feed 8 kids and 2 adults with $3 worth of eggs and pancakes.
How excited Solomon gets about spending time with Eyes-AY-uh.

Monday, August 6, 2012

A post of pout.

I am going through a confusing time.
I am clearly being affected by a depression of spirit but it is manifesting in weird ways. I feel  disconnected. More like I am watching my life than living it. Possibly a symptom of having two major areas of my life (noticeably) out of my control.

I am trying to put it in God's hands but, frankly, I am not sure how to do it. Seems there should be something I ought to be doing or not doing. I had been in a place where I was sure of what I was doing and who I basically was but something(s) happened. Now I am only sure of my salvation. Which is why the weeks like these must be borne.
...

Those Who spoke first will silence those who speak the loudest
Then will my heart begin to calm
Then will I seek successfully to rest.