Friday, March 29, 2013

A missive from a funk.


So Marley has begun learning subtraction and addition. It started as a game in the car and now she really enjoys it because she does so well. 2+2=4, 5-1=4, 1+2=3 etc. As is often the case, my mind = blown.
Marley said something in the car one day on the way home from Cincinnati State and it was an alliteration (on accident). I mentioned that it was an alliteration and explained what that meant. The very next day, on the ride home she says "Hey mommy. My dinosaur dreams of a dozen doughnuts. That's an alliteration!"
My eyes bugged out and I had to take measures to keep from wrecking the car in seizures of pride.
Marley and Solomon were laying in Marley's bed post-bedtime and "quietly" winding down, waiting for the blissful sleep of babes to descend all around their precious little psyches... Yeah right.

Marley: Solomon!
Solomon: What?!
Marley: Dog poop!
*Hysterical laughter from both*
Solomon: Marley. I got one.
*Silence thick with anticipation*
Solomon: Poop.
*More laughter*

Marley is capable of higher forms of humor but as every good comedian knows, you have to match up what you're doin', to who is watchin'.

Kids, they say the... well you know the adage. This cliche will endure for as long as people keeping reproducing because no one can tell it like a preschooler. Alright there is some necessary back story:
>>>>>>>FLASHBACK 2008ishhhhhhh<<<<<<<<<<<<
So I wasn't working and spent most of my days throwing up and watching tv and reading lists by doulahs. Favorite show to watch? Same as it now. COPS! Bob and I were watching an episode and there was a particularly interesting disturbance call (for those of you who are not in the biz, that usually translates into someone being drunk or naked OR BOTH in public). Well on this particular call. Er'body was drunk and some guy hollered at the wrong girl and some other guy hit the guy and then the girl was all uh-uh and he was all oh no and then they were all WEEEE-EWWW WEEEE-EW.

...Yes just like that. So I turned to Bob and said something to the affect of "Morale of the story? Don't talk to girls."

So this became a bit of a joke between us, both referencing COPS and my own insecurities whilst large with child. So if I was there when Bob went to work I would say, "Bye. Have a great day! Don't talk to girls!"
So while the joke isn't so frequent now. I still occasionally say it.
Well turns out (no surprise here really) Marley heard this and doesn't have any womb memories of that episode of COPS or the origins of the joke. While walking down the hallway of Marley's school, getting ready to head home Marley turns and yells back to her teacher Ms. Tracey, "You know sometimes when my daddy leaves the house for work my mom tells him not to talk to girls!"

Oi! No time to explain that one while making our exit. Not that it really would have helped.


So I have probably written this before but I think it is hysterical and he is just growing out of it as he grabs language firmly with both hands. In the past if you offered Solomon two things, he would *always* choose the second option.

Me: Solomon do you want a cookie or a piece of cake?
Solomon: Cake!
Me: Solomon do you want a piece of cake or a cookie?
Solomon: A cookie!
Me: Do you want to eat a porkchop or dog food?
Solomon: Dog food!


Recently there has been a lot of ear infections, sinus infections, etc. at our house. Mostly amongst the darlings. It has interrupted sleep that was already fairly elusive. More children, in my bed, even earlier in the night. Solomon in particular has been having night terrors, which are awful. Really, really awful. So one night he woke up, gripped by hysterical blind screaming madness. He wants to be near me but not to be touched, he is hitting me (which he never does when he is awake), holding up a warding hand where there is no apparent danger. I can do nothing to help. You name it, I've tried it. All I can is wait till he's exhausted the fear fuel and falls back asleep. Terrible. After some minutes (which seemed like 20 but was probably closer to 5) he comes back to my arms, lets me hold him and goes limp, whimpering stopped and just sniffling. I carry him into my room and lay him on my bed and wipe off his drenched face. He's relaxed again and asleep. Laying next to him I just hold him gently and I whisper I love you. He whispers back (seemingly in his sleep), "Lud you too."
Charmed I reflect on what an adorable child he is when he isn't having a night terror. After a few minutes I whisper it again and he again replies, "Lud you too."

You know what? Next night, did the same thing, same response. He says I love you too in his sleep. It is completely adorable. Completely.

Also? A very handy trick for any guy to master. Well played Solomon-deegie.

Solomon is OBSESSED with five things. Spiderman, Mario, and Spiderman, and Mario. Mickey Mouse.
He wants to "Watch Mawio" all day long (re: play Mario Kart on the Wii). He has the race-car bed that Grandpa Bob made for Toby and he got to choose his own sheet set. He chose Mario Kart. He LOVES that he gets to lay his head on Mario AND Mario's kart. Loves it.


Bob got featured on Metropole's Facebook page the other day. A photo of him holding a large striped-bass (40lbs in fact). It got a bunch of comments (all about what a fun guy Bob looked to be). Then 513{eats} re-posted the photo, meaning it went to thousands of people's newsfeeds. Feels good to married to a guy who is in the process of achieving his dreams.

EDIT: Bob is charming and attractive and funny.


I smashed another phone.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Oh... dang it.

Today I'm wearing an outfit that I thought was a little too quirky to be stylish. Then I came to work and before 1 pm I had gotten six compliments. So I started thinking, oh maybe I do look cute.

Then... I realized.

All 6 compliments had been given by men.
At 2:30 pm I got asked to meet up later in the evening at a bar.

I don't look cute.
I look like a trollop.


One hour assignment

Meghyn Winslow
Human Diversity
Dr. Jenkins

Political Correctness: Preventing Discussion, Protecting Silence
            So here is the problem with political correctness. People use these blanket rules to dictate what they say and when they find themselves in the foggy area, where they are not sure what they’re “allowed to say”, they say nothing. Frankness prevented; intimacy censured; knowledge not gained and therefore lost, and maybe… a fight prevented. Maybe.
The fear that we may say something wrong, that we may get ourselves labeled as ignorant, it keeps us from asking questions and from engaging in the conversations that will provide us with valuable tools for empathy. People should work earnestly to increase their understanding of other people’s plights, the adversities they encounter due to the circumstances of their lives. Political correctness may stop some very unkind things from being said, some feelings from being hurt but what is learned from those things left unexamined? Nothing.
            People are terrified of confrontation. But confrontation is an irreplaceably valuable vehicle for change. Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Ella Baker, Gordon Hirabayashi; are all examples of people who summoned their courage to ask difficult questions, learned about themselves and others and challenged what people knew. It wasn’t a comfortable process, this progression in civil rights. Maybe we have to be awkward and expose the raw pink skin of our tiny understanding before we can make things right for more people. Maybe we should worry less about being “correct” and work harder at being sensitive while we learn about each other.
Statements from the book “35 Dumb Things Well-Intentioned People Say” by Dr. Maura Cullen that resonated with me as being painful to hear.
“Some of my best friends are…” You may as well end this statement with “one of YOU people.” Because that is what is implied. There is me and my people who are like me and then there are all of you others, who I have benevolently befriended as a demonstration of my open-mindedness. Quit qualifying people by their aesthetics or their sexuality.
“It was only a joke…” To you. It was only a joke to you. Some things are serious whether you take them that way or not. Some hurts are real and current even if you don’t feel them yourself. If you have to preface a joke with “I’m not racist/sexist etc. but…” Then it is and you are. Quit perpetuating ignorance.
“What do ‘your’ people think?” Unless you’re referring to a person’s immediate family group for which you can safely assume they have an accurate understanding of the collective opinion, don’t ask this question. You cannot find out what gay people think by asking one gay person. Thankfully, identifying with a certain lifestyle does not mean your ideas will fall perfectly in line with all the other people who identify with that group.
“Why do ‘they’ always have to sit together? They are always sticking together.” First of all people are very often attracted to what they know or things they have some commonality with. Second, unless you’re making this statement to someone very different from you, then ask yourself the same question and examine the answer.
Adding my own dumb things that well intentioned people say: “A pretty girl like you? You’re sure to get the job/get an A.” Well that’s good. At least I have one marketable skill… I mean feature. I guess the efforts into expanding my understanding of other cultures, my ability to write a reasonably entertaining document, my inability to cook bacon correctly … None of that matters. I just have to find those persons who are attracted to me and get them to hire me and then go from there. That seems like a solid plan. Note: I debated using this example. It smacks of sounding like the white man’s burden. Complaining about the perceptions people have about one of my (completely subjective) privilege. But I decided that instead of worrying about political correctness, I would focus on what is true for me in my experience and share it.
            I also feel I should mention that one of the items listed in the book “You speak the language really well” seemed a poor choice to include. People put a lot of work into learning new languages, being able to speak it well (which I would interpret to mean that they can speak it in a way that can be understood by a native speaker) should be something that can be safely complimented. Because there is a right way to speak a language, because it results in other people understanding what is said. I feel that to take offence at such a statement falls into that category of people being afraid of sincere dialogue and being over-sensitive. So unless a more convincing argument can be made, I’m not convinced this statement is anything other than a compliment.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Before I forget...

So Bob and I went to this "holiday office party"  for the 21c and after wards we walked to the Righteous Room. Outside there was a guy who was not-quite-panhandling and he told me this story.

"One time a bunch of little kids were hanging around outside the whorehouse (in Cincinnati) when this shiny brand new car rolled up. James Brown got out. He had rings on all his fingers, dressed all slick. One of the girls asked him "Are you James Brown?" and he said "Yes I am". Then you know what he did? He pulled out a roll of money and gave every kid there a twenty dollar bill before going inside."

Birthday "trip"

What is this peephole for exactly?
It got weird didn't it?
Almond white chocoalte scone at Metropole. Oh Yes.
Me and my penguin peep at the 21c.
Actually the least exciting thing we ate at Kate. Wagyu beef and Momo chicken.
Breakfast at Metropole.
Our view at 21c.
The shower in our 21c room. The duck, ear tile, eye tile, boob tile, etc. were provided.
Best room service ever. House-made meats and delicious cheeses, smoked apricot marmalade, smoked grapes. A-mazing.
Complementary room service cake!


A penguin and a duck walk into a hotel room...

Saturday, March 9, 2013

A response to angry facebook post...

By a friend of mine who is gay and some of the comments on it. Longest fb comment ever.

I think the real problem that Christians of current times have is their obsession with sexual sin and the forgetfulness that all sin is the same. Sexual or otherwise. It's the secular culture that has taught us to place such a high value on peoples' sexual practices. Homosexuality makes some people uncomfortable so they take a more visual morale stance on it. But then they say nothing about the unmarried parent who practises her/his own sexual sin, or the people who gossip (sin), or those who fib on their taxes (sin), etc. I confess that I believe that homosexuality is a sin. Not a popular opinion (around my circles anyway) but I also confess that I was an unmarried mother twice over and that in addition to a slew of other sins. The homosexual and I are on the same ground. Both sinners capable of being forgiven. This current culture is kinder to my situation. I don't know why. It wasn't always so. As for the bible promoting rape, there is some contextual issues there. Partially translational and partly because the culture in which those laws and precedents were established. Women who were under the full legal control of their male relations were partially protected by those ghastly rules. And though I believe the bible is fully a message from God, one must take into consideration that just because one the "heroes" of the bible said something or did something, does not mean it was sanctioned or condoned by God. Also the old testament, in which those laws, etc. are written the Hebrew people were under the strictures of the first covenant. Which was basically that you acted in accordance with the law or you were damned. After the Gospel, when Jesus is introduced, the whole of the world was under the new covenant, which replaced the old. The new was that, for those who believed and repented, their sins (though inescapable do the flaws of our humanity) would be covered by the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. Those sins including sexual sins. Which to reiterate are no different in God's eyes than any other sin.... I know this is a very difficult life for people who find themselves attracted to anything other than the usual. I'm sorry for the feelings of persecution you go through. I wish it wouldn't happen. No human has the moral high ground to judge you, but as humans I hope we can talk about our beliefs even as they conflict.

Redemption song.

Though my whole body is degraded by the everyday toxins of this world, I am clean. I am the bride of Christ. Dressed in the pure natural atonement of His sacrifice.

Though I can not hope to keep from sinning, He chose me. I will submit to His purpose in gratitude. He is my hope.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


1 Samuel 3:12-13 NIRV

"At that time I will do everything to Eli and his family that I said I would. I will finish what I have started. I told Eli I would punish his family forever. He knew his sons were sinning. He knew they were making fun of me. In spite of that, he failed to stop them.

There are many examples of God dealing harshly against parents who fail to rebuke or discipline their children in the bible. Eli, Adam, David...

Sunday, March 3, 2013

I'll just put this here.

So I have been reading in the book of Judges tonight. Whenever I was reading the stories with Samson, I felt a little sick. A guy like that can be a biblical champion? He's disgusting! So I have been thinking about it and I realized that he and I are the same flawed product. He just had different weaknesses, different blessings. So, thinking on it even more, I am wondering if Samson is in Heaven or Hell? He didn't have the benefit of the new covenant, only the Law.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Current Music...

I miss the area that Livejournal had for "Current Music" where you could report your... current music.

Everyone in my office is each their own very special, very unique brand of crazy.

Very excited for the weekend. Going to eat at Kaze (sushibar/gastropub), going to see Wonder Brown at his CD release party, and staying at the 21c hotel. It's (still) my birthday! Best part is we are having brunch Sunday morning at Metropole.

Current Music- Tito Puente: Four Beat Cha Cha