Friday, March 29, 2013

A missive from a funk.


So Marley has begun learning subtraction and addition. It started as a game in the car and now she really enjoys it because she does so well. 2+2=4, 5-1=4, 1+2=3 etc. As is often the case, my mind = blown.
Marley said something in the car one day on the way home from Cincinnati State and it was an alliteration (on accident). I mentioned that it was an alliteration and explained what that meant. The very next day, on the ride home she says "Hey mommy. My dinosaur dreams of a dozen doughnuts. That's an alliteration!"
My eyes bugged out and I had to take measures to keep from wrecking the car in seizures of pride.
Marley and Solomon were laying in Marley's bed post-bedtime and "quietly" winding down, waiting for the blissful sleep of babes to descend all around their precious little psyches... Yeah right.

Marley: Solomon!
Solomon: What?!
Marley: Dog poop!
*Hysterical laughter from both*
Solomon: Marley. I got one.
*Silence thick with anticipation*
Solomon: Poop.
*More laughter*

Marley is capable of higher forms of humor but as every good comedian knows, you have to match up what you're doin', to who is watchin'.

Kids, they say the... well you know the adage. This cliche will endure for as long as people keeping reproducing because no one can tell it like a preschooler. Alright there is some necessary back story:
>>>>>>>FLASHBACK 2008ishhhhhhh<<<<<<<<<<<<
So I wasn't working and spent most of my days throwing up and watching tv and reading lists by doulahs. Favorite show to watch? Same as it now. COPS! Bob and I were watching an episode and there was a particularly interesting disturbance call (for those of you who are not in the biz, that usually translates into someone being drunk or naked OR BOTH in public). Well on this particular call. Er'body was drunk and some guy hollered at the wrong girl and some other guy hit the guy and then the girl was all uh-uh and he was all oh no and then they were all WEEEE-EWWW WEEEE-EW.

...Yes just like that. So I turned to Bob and said something to the affect of "Morale of the story? Don't talk to girls."

So this became a bit of a joke between us, both referencing COPS and my own insecurities whilst large with child. So if I was there when Bob went to work I would say, "Bye. Have a great day! Don't talk to girls!"
So while the joke isn't so frequent now. I still occasionally say it.
Well turns out (no surprise here really) Marley heard this and doesn't have any womb memories of that episode of COPS or the origins of the joke. While walking down the hallway of Marley's school, getting ready to head home Marley turns and yells back to her teacher Ms. Tracey, "You know sometimes when my daddy leaves the house for work my mom tells him not to talk to girls!"

Oi! No time to explain that one while making our exit. Not that it really would have helped.


So I have probably written this before but I think it is hysterical and he is just growing out of it as he grabs language firmly with both hands. In the past if you offered Solomon two things, he would *always* choose the second option.

Me: Solomon do you want a cookie or a piece of cake?
Solomon: Cake!
Me: Solomon do you want a piece of cake or a cookie?
Solomon: A cookie!
Me: Do you want to eat a porkchop or dog food?
Solomon: Dog food!


Recently there has been a lot of ear infections, sinus infections, etc. at our house. Mostly amongst the darlings. It has interrupted sleep that was already fairly elusive. More children, in my bed, even earlier in the night. Solomon in particular has been having night terrors, which are awful. Really, really awful. So one night he woke up, gripped by hysterical blind screaming madness. He wants to be near me but not to be touched, he is hitting me (which he never does when he is awake), holding up a warding hand where there is no apparent danger. I can do nothing to help. You name it, I've tried it. All I can is wait till he's exhausted the fear fuel and falls back asleep. Terrible. After some minutes (which seemed like 20 but was probably closer to 5) he comes back to my arms, lets me hold him and goes limp, whimpering stopped and just sniffling. I carry him into my room and lay him on my bed and wipe off his drenched face. He's relaxed again and asleep. Laying next to him I just hold him gently and I whisper I love you. He whispers back (seemingly in his sleep), "Lud you too."
Charmed I reflect on what an adorable child he is when he isn't having a night terror. After a few minutes I whisper it again and he again replies, "Lud you too."

You know what? Next night, did the same thing, same response. He says I love you too in his sleep. It is completely adorable. Completely.

Also? A very handy trick for any guy to master. Well played Solomon-deegie.

Solomon is OBSESSED with five things. Spiderman, Mario, and Spiderman, and Mario. Mickey Mouse.
He wants to "Watch Mawio" all day long (re: play Mario Kart on the Wii). He has the race-car bed that Grandpa Bob made for Toby and he got to choose his own sheet set. He chose Mario Kart. He LOVES that he gets to lay his head on Mario AND Mario's kart. Loves it.


Bob got featured on Metropole's Facebook page the other day. A photo of him holding a large striped-bass (40lbs in fact). It got a bunch of comments (all about what a fun guy Bob looked to be). Then 513{eats} re-posted the photo, meaning it went to thousands of people's newsfeeds. Feels good to married to a guy who is in the process of achieving his dreams.

EDIT: Bob is charming and attractive and funny.


I smashed another phone.

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