Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Get in your row Mallard!

Yesterday was Marley's first lesson of the summer swim session. It is her 6th swim lesson session, 2nd time as an eel. She swam four strokes by herself! Of course she did it four seconds after I confided to the mom sitting next to me that she couldn't swim at all alone.
Solomon was only able to identify the letter S and O as of two weeks ago and now he is getting L, M, E, F. Look out preschool here he comes!
Sage is a thumbsucker. It is so very, very cute. I shudder for my pictures in the future though, we'll never see her mouth again. 
I met with my NKU advisor and I finally have a doable plan for returning to school (first time at NKU) in the fall. All three of my classes are labelled SWK (Social Work). I am pretty excited, especially about the ethics class. Also the advisor seemed very confident (she was sure) in my ability to be accepted into the program formally after my completion of the three classes. I've worked hard to undo the terrible things I did to my GPA ten years ago and the evidence is finally becoming clear. Thank you God for giving me the strength!
I have been faithfully working on my book (the latest attempt, so many projects abandoned) and I am beyond pleased with it. Even if it ends up abandoned it is a joy to write.


I have been coming to this gym for years (except January, I never come in January) and despite all those years, I still feel like a big lost doofus when I walk in the gym doors. I am almost positive that everyone in the room is looking at me and they all know I am a big faker. I’m clearly not an athlete, I subscribe to exactly zero health magazines, and I would be more likely to win an eating contest than a running contest. The nice thing about going to the gym with a friend is that I still feel like a doofus but at least I am a doofus who clearly has friends.“So what angle do you think I should try?”Catherine had been talking, I had been letting the fog thicken in my brain.“For what?”“To start the conversation with Primo.”“Oh, um… what were my options again?”“I am either a fitness buff who wants to talk shop or a fitness novice that needs direction.”“Well, how much do you really know about fitness?”“I know it’s good to have an elevated heart rate, but not too elevated.”“Because you’d die.”“Right.”“Well if that is all you know I would go with novice, since… you are one.”“What if he remembers seeing me before?”“Then he will know for sure that you’re a novice.”We scanned our membership cards and smiled at the woman behind the desk. She half smiled at us while she chewed her blt.“Yum. I love BLT’s.” I gazed longingly at the overly large portion of bread, bacon and mayonnaise which might not have had any actual lettuce or tomato on it.“Focus.”“I’m being a novice. A novice who loves BLT and suffers from a lack of actual meals in her life.” I felt sorry for me.“He’s here!”“Of course he’s here. That’s why we’re here.”We approached the double glass doors and Catherine held open one side for me. I clipped the other door with my shoulder on the way in. Caroline said quietly, “You’re doing a great job. You almost were able to walk through a door without incident.”“I’m no stranger to sarcasm Madame Novice.”“Actually I decided I am going to go with fitness buff. It just isn’t my style to play the part of the clueless woman in need of instruction.”“Nevermind the fact that you are a clueless woman in need of instruction.”“The ability to improvise is a skill every lawyer needs.”“Does improvisation mean lying?”And there was Primo. A medium height powerhouse of well distributed muscle. His YMCA polo was filled to perfection. His blonde hair was built for speed and style. He gave us a head nod and a smile and I could see in the mirrors that lined every wall that Catherine was smiling back, making all manners of eye contact. We found treadmills and proceeded to tread vigorously nowhere. I told Catherine about the changes at work and she told me about the latest courtroom gossip, some of which required a degree in criminal justice to understand. "So the bailiff and the stenographer are dating?""No. The stenographer is a 70 year old woman and the bailiff is studying to be a shaman.""Oh." Clearly I had heard that wrong.After 45 minutes of this Catherine decided to make her move. "I'm going to do this before I actually sweat.""Good call. What's your opener?""I'm going to ask him if he likes to do cardio or weights first or if he likes to switch it up.""And which do you prefer?""I'll let you know," she said as she walked away.And so my vigorous treading continued alone. I felt a little like Frodo trudging on alone towards Mt. Doom, but mostly I just felt like a doofus.

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