Sunday, July 20, 2014

Facebook Status from July

You know what's messed up? I have to ask my phone's permission to spell words wrong.

Highlighting 16,000 words and deleting them. On purpose. It's like willingly giving up 16 days of life for the greater good. Except you don't get any happy feel good vibes from your humanitarian efforts or a free tshirt.

I'm not saying you can't have a beagle. You just always, always, always have to keep it inside.

We just had a family rap battle and I don't want to give away any of our rhymes but my favorite line was "I don't have boogers very often."

Historically speaking boredom and writer's block are both bad news for my hair. Look! I'm the ugly one from Nsync!

Name a type of criminal organization. I'll start: cable company.

Last night I had my sleep disrupted by a weird sound. I narrowed down the possible causes. Thought someone was breaking into a car on the street but couldn't see anyone. Called the police anyway. Turns out there was a giant man sleeping in the trunk area of an suv. I heard him shifting around. Creepy. #superhearing #doesnotwant

We got a parking ticket today. I found a pocket knife. To make myself feel better for the great expense of being 12 minutes late I am pretending that I won an auction for John Stamos' pocket knife for $52.

Happy 6th birthday to my dream girl.
"Who can turn the world on with her smile? Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? Well it's you girl, and you should know it. With each glance and every little movement you show it." -Sonny Curtis

"I'm going to stay with this family forever... So I don't have to get a job." -Marley

"I need to play because I'm listening to my heart and it says to play games." -Solo

We just ate Mexican in a place with a hospital, three restaurants, and no people. We're listening to Beach Boys in a place where all the waves are amber.

Whoa! Just discovered this great trick to speed up caramelizing onions. You turn the stove on.

The advertisements I get on fb are terrible. I will now attempt to fix this... *ahem* bra burning, Jane Austen, people who wear clothes, Padmé not Leia, people who wear clothes, college, grammar, Lee Kravitz, accordion, historical reenactment, polite, clothed people, Madeline L'engle, free cake, Alligator.

K, hopefully that will help.

Well we couldn't find an accounting camp or a taxidermy camp, so we're sending Marley to madcap puppets' madcamp.

Note I will be posting about Marley's birthday after the last of the festivities has been completed.

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