Me: Sage. What are you doing?
Sage: Me? Nothing. Just using my face to propel myself across the hardwood floor.
Me: Don't do that. You'll hurt yourself!
Sage: You think so? Nooo. I'm sure I'll be fine.
One second passes.
Sage: Owwww my face!
Me: Sage you can't use my hair to pull yourself up. It hurts.
Sage: Oh. Well can I just chew it a little?
Me: No! You can't eat hair!
Sage: ...What about dog fur?
Solomon: Sage is eating the bible.
Marley: Sage! No! You can't eat Elsa!
Me: Sage do you want some yoghurt?
Sage: Oh thanks!
Me: No. You're supposed to eat it.
Me: You're supposed to eat the yoghurt.
Sage: Are you serious?
Sage: Shouldn't I just smear it all over my face like this? And a little here on the dog's head? He seems to like it.
Me: I'm completely sure you're supposed to eat it.
Sage: In that case, you go ahead and keep it. And take this Elsa doll too, she's all gross and covered in my spit.