Me: What's wrong?
Sage: Agggggh! I want to nurse!
Me: So nurse! What's the problem? !
Sage: Agggh! My mouth is doing it wrong!
Me: What? Why?
Sage: Aggggh! This is your fault!
Me: Can I look at your mouth?
Me: Fine. But if you can't latch it's because your mouth and if you don't let me look I can't help.
10 seconds of baby yelling pass.
Me: Ok just let me look.
Me: Eww. You have like half a ream of paper in here.
Me: (removing spitball of epic proportions) Ew there's even more!
Sage: Give that back! That's mine!
Sage: Give it back or I'll never be happy again.
Sage: I'm so mad at... Oh look a toy car...
I want to nurse.
Me: (deep sigh)