Sunday, November 30, 2014

Mary Ann

What just happened to me is so amazing... I can't even...

I'm making dolls for the darlings.
So I'm measuring, measuring, cutting, sewing, cutting, pressing, sewing...

I have a pile of fabric, fastidiously measured and cut into circles with 14" diameters. Some pressed, some not, some waiting to have the hems marked, etc.

My fingers hurt, I'm forced to work when the baby is asleep, and no one is looking and in a place where it's flat and safe for an iron. So pretty much 10 minutes here, 10 there. It can be frustrating.

I'm reaching for the fabric that will be my niece Katie's doll's circle skirt. I'm thinking, "Ugh it's flannel, it's already fraying. I'm going to have to add water to the iron to press it..."  Not that much more work but daunting in the face of an already long to-do list and limited time.

I'm trying to add special elements to everyone's doll and outfits but in this moment I was tempted to cut the corner. Just get it pressed and hem it and let that be enough. Katie's young, she won't notice if I don't further embellish hers and it will still be special... excuse, excuse...

But no. No cutting corners. Cut corners in sewing get punished and if this is going to be an act driven by love, I needed to focus on love, not time damnit.

So I go back to the scrapbox. I need something purple. The options are limited but I know that there is fabric leftover from when my grandma made us Goodridge girls little throw pillows with our names embroidered on them. My sister had salvaged the fabric from grandma's things after Mary Ann passed away.

I put my hand on it, resigned to my fate. Then I unfolded it and there it was. A perfect circle with a 14" diameter, the edges already pressed.

I was shocked. Shocked.
I ironed out the tiny wrinkle in the middle it had from being folded and now it only needed to be stitched to the flannel to create a pretty lining. The iron releasing the smell of my grandma's house.

This circle of fabric that didn't make it as a throw pillow for a granddaughter will make it as a skirt for a great granddaughter. I don't know if Grandma got frustrated at the time when she was working with this fabric, or if she was just practicing to insure that the final product was better. But it serves as an excellent reminder that God works all things together for our good.

Thank you God for your mercy. For Mary Ann as a grandma and for a perfect scrap of fabric.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Sage. Sage. Sage!

Marley is singing to Sage.

"Sometimes there is so much light you won't understand it. Sometimes there are so many hugs, you won't be able to stand it..."

Sage stood on her own again today. She pushed herself up from a shoebox then pulled the shoebox into the air with her upper half, wielding it wildly for a second before falling back on her butt.

While trying to nurse..

Me: OW. Why are you biting me? Do you have something else in your mouth?
Sage: Gum!

No lie. She really did actually say gum. Marley and Solo almost died laughing.

Also I almost put her to bed tonight before realizing she had while coffee beans in her mouth.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

The true desires of our hearts


Be in the space between me and everyone else. Stand beside me, before me, behind me. Stand with me and stand with my children, so that as long as I'm with You, I'll be with them.

Romans 8:38-39
I am absolutely sure that not even death or life can separate us from God's love. Not even angels or demons, the present or the future, or any powers can do that. Not even the highest places or the lowest, or anything else in all creation can do that. Nothing at all can ever separate us from God's love because of what Christ Jesus our Lord has done.

Thursday, November 20, 2014


Marley: I'm the Queen. You hold the end of my dress as I walk.
Me: You're the Queen, not a bride.
Marley: I'm the Queen. I do what I want.


Me (to Marley): I found your ladybug bracelet.
Solo: Actually I found it.
Me: No you did not. You weren't even there.
Marley: Yeah, if you found it, how did it get on mommy's wrist?
Me: Yeah!?
Solo: *laughter*
Me: *hands bracelet to Marley*
Marley: Hey! You found my bracelet!

Thursday, November 13, 2014


Solo: I have to poop.
Me: You have to hold it.
Solo: I can't hold it. I'm sitting down.


Sage made her first distinguishable sign language sign today!
... two days later, Sage started waving at people. I guess girl found her hands.

The human condition

Me: Go find your book bag.
Solo: I couldn't find it. You need to buy me a new one.
Me: No way. You have to find yours.
Solo: Oooh but I love my new book bag.

The picture is off Solomon wearing his 12 month old pants.

Monday, November 10, 2014

I stabbed the sewing machine

Me (in the shower, ranting): Ugh. It's not one problem! It's many problems. Each problem is confounded and made worse by the solution I come up with for whatever issue I try to fix first. I'm sooooo frustrated! What an I supposed to do!?!?
Marley (brushing her teeth, toothbrush in her mouth): Maybe try not to think about  your frustration. Try to focus on what you're doing.
Me: ...
Marley: Don't let yourself get so worked up.
Me: ...

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Ugh Daniel

Sometimes God uses angels, sometimes dreams, sometimes he sends prophets... And SOMETIMES, he uses PBS kids.

I'm going to speak generally for a moment by saying that I've experienced a certain problem in my life for many years. Through the years I've used many different methods of dealing with it. Denial, anger, sadness, psychology, mathematics, academically developed approaches, etc. Recently I tried again to deal with the problem. I just wanted to take control over something that I had no control of.

It took three days for my newest try to fail twice. Then, yesterday Solo was laying down, sick with a fever, watching Daniel Tiger on PBS. Daniel is based on the old puppet neighborhood from Mr. Rogers and the target audience is preschoolers.
It teaches life skills such as potty training and about how to be polite.

The theme of this episode was solving your own problems. Example: When you can't find your shoe, you should go find it instead of asking your mom.

The reoccurring song was something to the effect of solving your own problem and you'll feel proud. Needless to say it was a simple song and very catchy and by the second time they sang it, I was singing along while I was busy doing whatever it was I was doing.

Then BAM ton of bricks!

While the world learns to do for itself, solve it's own problems, and values total self reliance, the bible teaches something a little different. We're supposed to work, we're supposed to care, we're supposed to provide for ourselves (and anyone else who needs it).

But we can't solve all of our own problems. Because it DOES lead to pride. Not to mention the stunning human examples through history of people completely sucking at solving their own problems. Self absorption, misconceptions, hatred... yeah, terrible at fixing the world.

I can't fix this problem. I cannot control this circumstance without doing additional damage. I will (try) not (to) turn my back, I will not stay silent when I should speak and even more difficult speak when I should be silent.

But God is the one who will fix this problem. And in His time. Though it humbles me, though it rails against my longing for control. I will wait on Him.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Self realizing

In discussing a art gift project with Scott I came up with this analogy of my process.

I know where the pool is, I know where the diving board is, I know I'm going to jump. I just don't know if the diving board and the pool are in the same place.

I realize that this is actually my approach to just about everything.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

More sleep

Sometimes in this crazy life I wonder how I've gotten where I am, then the lucidity wears off again and I sit on top of my mountain of doll heads just laughing.

Tonight I'm thankful for my cellphone. Because it can save me from an unnecessary 13 mile walk when I'm on my way to meeting my destiny.

Genesis 37:14-17
... So he sent him away from the Hebron Valley. Joseph arrived at Shechem. A man found him wandering around in the fields. He asked Joseph, "What are you looking for?"  He replied, "I'm looking for my brothers. Can you tell me where they are taking care of their flocks?"  "They've moved on from here," the man answered. "I heard them say, 'Let's go to Dothan.' " So Joseph went to look for his brothers. He found them near Dothan.