Thursday, December 25, 2014

Best Christmas ever

I had a great Christmas. Really, really great. Though there were a few heartache moments and my father in law was too sick to join us.

What made it great:
Giving gifts people liked. Always my favorite thing.
Roast Beast and mashed potatoes. Ok, actually this is my favorite thing.
Becoming aware of those moments when the destroyer is trying to steal my joy and being able to fight back and win.
Solomon behaving better as the day grew older. Nearly inconceivable.
My husband's very thoughtful gift to me. I loved it. Loved it. I can honestly say this is by far the most thoughtful gift he ever gave me. I cried when I got it.
Marley. Always. Her behavior is sometimes easy to ignore because she's so consistent in her eagerness to please and in her kindnesses.
Family. I'm so blessed by my parents, uncles, in laws, sisters and their families. It's good for man not to be alone!
Sage! Wow! Up till ten, three hours passed her bedtime and she was so very, very reasonable and it helped that Bobby and she are so good together. He was a great help to me.

Jesus. All day long there were loud visual reminders of what Christmas is but it was the gentle whispers I appreciated. My God is alive and His rescue plan is accomplished.

Pictures to follow... soon.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

& a

Sometimes I pray for things and then I wonder if I'm supposed to feel confident I will be answered in the affirmative, if I will "receive" what I asked for.

One thing in particular for years. Back and forth in whether I am supposed to feel confident that God will give me the desire of my heart.

But recently I realized I needed to quit feeling unsure; I needed to examine what I know about God. Then I could decide whether I should be wondering or just waiting.

1.God will give us the desires of our heart if we love him (because our love will place his design and our desires in alignment).
2.God does things in His own way and in His own time.
3. God has tons of time.
4. God can weave events and peoples together in a design so complex and beautiful that we cannot dare to hope to plan anything so fine for ourselves.
5. God wants to give us a future and a hope. To prosper us.
6. God loves me.
7. God loves the members of my family.

So these things I know. And now I will ruminate on them and feel joy. Future and hope!

I'm so joyful to be waiting and not having to wonder.

Praise Him.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Things I ask myself

How long a needle do I need to get all the way through this baby's head?

Should I stain Todd Frazier's chin with coffee or tea?

How do I carry a 55 gallon drum down two flights of stairs silently?

What's that burning plastic smell?

How can I use the hot glue gun and hold the baby at the same time?

Where is my coffee?

Did I eat my cereal this morning or just lose the bowl?

Where did his pupils go?

Should I attempt to finish what I'm doing now that the baby is awake and will that require something extreme like turning on PBS which, as far as I can tell, only ever plays Dinosaur Train?

Seriously, where is my coffee?

Is that burning plastic smell acceptable?

Am I dizzy because I didn't eat my cereal; because I drank too much coffee; or is it because the burning plastic smell?

How many toxic fumes are too many?

And that was just today.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

While I'm here.

No peace
No joy
No quenched thirst
No thirst at all because
No life
Without Him.

...

I'm thankful that I have people to eat cake with. That they're just here and I don't have to call them. I hope that if anyone I love ever does need a cake eating buddy they'll call me, because I also love cake.

...

Creek water rushing around my ankles
Sunshine turning icicles into glitter
Wind making the lawn (that's in need of a trim) sway and swirl
The week that magnolia trees bloom and flourish
A brush of nostalgia, a lesson learned
When the car brakes work too well to be believed
Fruit
A baby smiling at you
Kind words in time
A breeze that finds its way in the window
Cooking smells
When the car is still warm when you leave
Unexpected understanding.

It all whispers His name.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Here and there

This last month has found me really longing to relive some of my childhood moments. Not to change them but just to feel that way and see those people again. I have really missed my grandparents the last few weeks. The grandmothers I knew, the one I didn't, my  grandfathers...

With the loss of my last living grandparent I can't help but to be aware of the slip of time we are given. My life a flower soon lost to frost.

It sounds sad but I'm not intending it to be. This life is... hard, beautiful... but the world we live in is sick and redemption is on the horizon. Whether it's my personal horizon or the whole world's; it's there.

So this Christmas, though it will be without my grandpa with us for the first time, will be the best Christmas ever. Because he's beyond pain, beyond the despair of the human body as it ages. He's with my grandma and he's with Jesus.

And I'm here, surrounded by people who love me with a purpose that He's given me. And someday I will be there, surrounded by most of those same people. Together worshipping God for the complex beauty of His creation and for His grace.

Thank You Father.