Saturday, December 24, 2016


Whom should we be having dinner with?

"While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”  On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” "

Matthew 9:10‭-‬13 NIV

Friday, December 9, 2016

Despite my daily failings

The fateful day Adam and Eve took bites of the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil meant that I,  and anyone else given faith in God and Jesus Christ,  would have to choose every day after to do intentional good.  Which doesn't blend with my basic urges or natural inclinations.

My natural urges would put me on a throne,  thriving even at the cost of others,  yet worshipped.  Of course the throne would be imagined,  the worshipping too.  I'd be Don Quixote.  I'd be the evil Queen.  I'd be a sad story.  So I'm thankful that I didn't write my book.  I'm thankful there is a standard out there that is better than mine and the creator has broad vision.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

My family

Marley and Solo were battling over who got the toothpaste and Solo says, "Whoever is the smartest gets the toothpaste... Wait! Whoever's the cutest I mean."

I'm not sure if it was a moment of humility or vanity.

Tonight after we left work at the YMCA we picked up a few cheeseburgers and a large fries at Old McDonald's. Then we sat at our dining room table and they talked about how it was the best meal ever and they couldn't wait for tomorrow because we could remove a link from our advent paper chain.  About how Jessica,  my coworker, has an advent calendar with little chocolates you eat each day and maybe next year we could do that too.

So much joy. I looked at them and wondered if next year they'd still be capable of the same childish delight.  God please, I hope so.

Thanks to the planning of my dad our morning was spent talking about charitable giving and how it really helps everyone.  It became a math lesson,  chemistry lesson,  sociology lesson,  and a Bible lesson. It was a great day. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2016


Daily we convince ourselves that our plan is good.
We know enough.
The price we pay for this finely honed skill is large, possibly infinite and impossible to determine with the human mind, see with the human eye.
Yet, the price is paid.
Our mortality is reconciled.
We can be with the creator; we are now humbled beautifully so that our worship is worthy of Him.
Mistakes, made unknowingly.
Roles reversed, leaving needs unfufilled, the world even less lovely and seeming less worth preserving.
Though heaven shines.
Full of the fulfillment of the promises we hope for.
The hope not of uncertainty and longing but of assurance and sustaining.
There is where I go, though I know not where. The path I will wander, I do not know, I cannot see.
But I reside within a body, my soul alongside the Spirit.
I know the hope.
I can rest.


Daily we convince ourselves that our plan is good.
We know enough.
The price we pay for this finely honed skill is large, possibly infinite and impossible to determine with the human mind, see with the human eye.
Yet, the price is paid.
Our mortality is reconciled.
We can be with the creator; we are now humbled beautifully so that our worship is worthy of Him.
Mistakes, made unknowingly.
Roles reversed, leaving needs unfufilled, the world even less lovely and seeming less worth preserving.
Though heaven shines.
Full of the fulfillment of the promises we hope for.
The hope not of uncertainty and longing but of assurance and sustaining.
There is where I go, though I know not where. The path I will wander, I do not know, I cannot see.
But I reside within a body, my soul alongside the Spirit.
I know the hope.
I can rest.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Facebook updates

Solo scored the final shot of the game at the buzzer and then chicken danced all the way back down the court. He pleases me greatly.


Walking through Kroger to get chips for later and Sage yells, "Look! It's pickle chips God!"

Repurposing Halloween costume components so I can keep my poor Wuwu close to my heart. Don't let her skeptical/long-suffering eyebrows fool you. She loves it.

Just got asked by a teachers' union rep if there was an adult home. Told him no.
Should have measured twice before making my forgery. #artafterdarkcincy


Saturday, October 29, 2016

He is

Being drawn to the Father is the feeling of quiet joy when a fervent but certain hope comes to fruition. Like the crocus pushing through wet crumbling snow.

Monday, October 3, 2016

After this apparent blessing Hezekiah makes a major error through his pride and his punishment is that Judah and his future heirs will be captured by Babylon.

"In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”  Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord , “Remember, Lord , how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.  Before Isaiah had left the middle court, the word of the Lord came to him: “Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord , the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord . I will add fifteen years to your life. And I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my sake and for the sake of my servant David.’ ”  Then Isaiah said, “Prepare a poultice of figs.” They did so and applied it to the boil, and he recovered."
2 Kings 20:1‭-‬7 NIV

"The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil."
Isaiah 57:1 NIV

These verses together paint such a telling picture about God. It shows us a glimpse of the complete understanding He has about the future and the past and how easy it is for humans with their pinhole lens of the world to misunderstand and judge inaccurately and misconstrue mercy for cruelty or apathy.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Sage rage

After very noisily drinking the last drops of her juicebox, Sage says, "My juicebox not working anymore."

Solo was very kindly trying to integrate Sage's disruptive behavior into his game and allows her to give him a checkup during one of his intricate robot vs. Pokemon vs. other unrelated franchises battles.
I say, "Well Sage? Is he dead?"
She replies, "No... Not yet."

Friday, September 23, 2016

"Daddy! I'm camouflaged!" -Sage Marie

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Weekend wild

Exciting weekend. Home group resumed for the semester, violin class, Marley had a sleepover with Joie that featured both horseback riding and fireworks, and Solomon and Sage attended Jackson's birthday party at a trampoline park. And after the party Solomon went on his first ever sleepover at Jackson's party featuring lots of habachi and Mario and Kirby.

Erin sent me some quotes from the evening.

Erin: Solomon I made you and Jackson a bed on the floor.
Solomon: Oh. He can't sleep next to me. I'm like a tornado when I sleep.
Jackson: super smash is so easy for me.
Solomon: you shouldn't say that bc maybe it's hard for someone else and that could make them feel bad.

We also had church and after the Combs and OConnells over for some disappointing football action, deck-fishing and chili time.

Finally Monday tomorrow we can rest. 

Monday, September 12, 2016

Yes a haiku.

I sit and I'm still
Something I will rarely do
Watch the hunter wait.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Watching the moon through trailing clouds. Sometimes the light shining brightly, almost hurting the eyes for its brilliance. Sometimes very muted through the veil of thick cloud, sometimes blotted out entirely except the shining around the cloud's lining. As I lay here in bed, I admire it.

My open window let's the raucous laughter of peoples up the street and cars driving in the area. I think of how annoying their loudness is. But God whispers and reminds me, "I think about what your hand has made. It made the lights in the sky."

And those people. It also made those people. And I see how the moon and those people are the same. I am humbled. By a God who really cares.

Saturday, September 10, 2016


Solo loves Skylanders, rock and roll music (or his interpretation of it anyway), Dancing, Dancing, dancing, Mario, watching football, smiling, winning, saying the right thing, caaaandy.

His favorite color is red or orange that's almost red.

After his first soccer game he announced, "We won!"
I replied, "It was a tie."
Solo says, "But we had fun. So we all won."
And then he walked me home.

I look at his baby pictures and I still feel overcome with emotion. 

I pray that God will make a powerful and kind servant out of my bright, shiny boy. 

Monday, August 22, 2016

Phantom Tollbooth Prep - Day One

Today has been a day of exceeded expectations and delightful surprises.

I woke up with Bob this morning and had some coffee and a couple of "biscuits". I had most of primary surfaces cleared off before the kids woke up. As they got up and got dressed and I wrestled the knots out of Marley's hair I worried because Sage was at 90% Sage. Which is the way Bob and I communicate how much of a handful she has been on any given day. A cold bug had thrown her off and she was kicking, grabbing and stealing before 9am.

Still we took our first day of school photos and then went upstairs to address our first tasks with the curriculum I have prepared for the next 15 weeks (it's in pencil). We did math, some geography, and with today's weather being perfect, a field trip was required. We discussed the merits of three different parks. Smale, Ault, and Eden. We all agreed on Smale and then went to Ault anyway. God clearly had a gentle and generous hand with us there. We broke a glass big specimen jar but no one got hurt and we had to backtrack for a diaper in the car but after that, everything just kept going beautifully. We also brought a "kritter keeper" in hopes of finding a male katydid.

We were only steps into the flower gardens when Solo spotted a tiny Lazarus Lizard. "Can we catch it?"
Me, "You can try."

Well. As is custom, I doubted and my kids proved me wrong. Within a minute, Solo and Marley were working together to rustle the tiny creature toward me and after two attempts, I managed to cover it with the kritter keeper. We couldn't figure out how to flip it over and put the lid on till Marley took off her smock and we scooted the keeper over it, then pulled it taut to keep the lizard inside till we could flip it over and secure the lid. It was a great team effort. Marley was the wrangler, Solo the spotter, and I the trap-tosser. Sage was running helter-skelter through the grass doing Idon'tknowhat, but quickly returned to scope out the situation. An older man and his care-taker stopped and admired our catch and advised us to look up the story of the Lazarus lizard, which was not at all what I expected.

We resumed our walk and another pedestrian approached us. A woman who "just loved to share things". She was delightful and she showed the kids and I one of the planned-beds filled with Scented Geraniums. She showed us how they had different smells and then was trying to recall the name of another plant when I called for Solomon. She said, "You're right! It's Solomon's Seal!" Apparently one of her favorite flowers. She told us about how she has picnic every spring under the weeping cherry trees in the park with her daughters and granddaughters. Next year, it's on my list.

Getting home, Sage took a nap and Marley, Solo and I were able to finish some paper worksheets together and make plans for the year. Then I got a call with some great news about a violin program.

Today will be a difficult day to beat.

By the way, we're calling the lizard Lazzy.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Beautiful picture

They crossed at the ford to take the king’s household over and to do whatever he wished. When Shimei son of Gera crossed the Jordan, he fell prostrate before the king and said to him, “May my Lord not hold me guilty. Do not remember how your servant did wrong on the day my Lord the king left Jerusalem. May the king put it out of his mind. For I your servant know that I have sinned, but today I have come here as the first from the tribes of Joseph to come down and meet my Lord the king.”  Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said, “Shouldn’t Shimei be put to death for this? He cursed the Lord ’s anointed.”  David replied, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? What right do you have to interfere? Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Don’t I know that today I am king over Israel?” So the king said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” And the king promised him on oath.
2 Samuel 19:18‭-‬23 NIV

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Kids, camping

Got my first gray hair at the age of 31. Things are looking up.

I wish I could redo my childhood with my kids as friends. I need to figure out how to do this. Or at least determine which parts I'm looking to relive. Tree climbing, creeking, art, vacations, my parents' parenting, singing...

Marley and Solo caught 7 fish using only a bucket.
Marley is willing to pick up a centipede but shivers with disgust at a Daddy Long legs.
Solo flipped his bicycles and crushed the front of his helmet and hit his cheek, skinned his chest and knee. After a couple of screams and getting the dirt cleaned out of his wounds, he was back on his back. Happy. I'm thankful we make him wear his helmet.
Camping is hard with kids. Most things are.
Not all kids. Just toddlers I guess. Sage is like one of those gambling games. You play over and over and you lose a lot, but the payout is huge.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Letting the brain just go here.

I keep finding my brain in a funk. Not feeling the urge to move on any projects, no pressing things i really have to do, not enough energy to take some great leap in any particular direction. Not hungry, not excited about eating even my favorite foods. Tired but not grumpy. Experience makes me believe that I must be depressed. But I don't actually feel depressed. I wonder of it could be boredom. If it is, I can't be sure of it. I keep busy enough, have enough company.

Is there something I'm meant to be doing that I am not? Am I doing something I shouldn't?

Reading the Bible, there is obvious direction. It's a relief.

Bob and I finally went over our lives and our budgets. For the first time we are without government assistance and still able to breath without anxiety overcoming. We're finally going to be able to pay off our debts and buy doughnuts our Saturday. Our budgeting was overdue because we realized that we had more money free than usual but barely noticing because we didn't examine our lives more closely. That problem is now resolved. I am so thankful to God for keeping us together, through a mortgage that was 75% of our income, through bankruptcy, through the loss of our home, our incomes,  through the charitable love we've received from family and friends. And now through this rise back up in the pay scale. Being able to pay for our own food, to give money back to those who have helped us. I pray that the humility and perspective we have gained, doesn't flee from us. God can work with anything to achieve anything He chooses. I must have faith in this. God give me faith and thank you for dealing so mercifully and kindly with this child.

Marley has turned 8. She didn't ask permission. Where is she now? She's a thoughtful and generous spirit. She loves justice and getting her own way. She loves romantic things, but not the mushy stuff. She loves magic tricks, girl power, and physical activity. She loves animals. She wants a cat and a bunny and a guinea pig... And a pony... And a chihuahua.

She deserves all that stuff. But because o love her, I won't give it to her... At least not all of it at once. And never a rabbit... Probably.

She's taught me to listen harder, lover better, yell less. She makes me want to be a better person and a better mom. More of a Miss Honey and less of a Trunchbull because I'll never be a Matilda.

Saturday, July 2, 2016


Bob took Marley on a daddy date and Marley ordered a huge plate of food. The waitress told Marley if she finished the food she would give her a hundred dollars. Marley gave it her best shot. She even took off her belt and put it over her shoulder.

Unrelated to that Bob saw a very old woman put four packets of sweet and low on her side salad.

We were eating ice cream sundaes for dessert last night and Sage had chocolate all over her hands. She grabbed Solomon's arm suddenly and he yells "Sage! Ew!" Then proceeds to lick the chocolate hand print off his arm.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016


I'm thankful to God for being so merciful and loving, to have given me into the care of the parents I was given.

And for the rich extravagant blessing of my children.

Like water and nutrients and energy, this love, it's a  beautiful cycle. Not made up of perfect parts and not always consistent, but real and life sustaining.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016


I sat on the front porch tonight with Marley. We waited to see if we could feel the first raindrops fall. We talked about everything. We talked about how boys talk differently to girls than they do other boys, about the human body and the amazing science of it and the absurd amounts of embarrassment we attach to certain aspects of it. We talked about how marriage is hard and that love means changing yourself to fight for your marriage, not changing someone else. We talked about how some kids get exposed to adult drama and concepts early and how they're ill equipped to handle it.

Me: they might see things adults are doing and not know why they're doing them.
Marley: And then they won't really understand it but they'll tell their friend about it and then their friend will tell their other friend and it will all be REALLY wrong.
Me: *just stares at Marley with adoration*

It was fun, and unfolded so organically. She said how much she enjoyed it afterward, when we came inside and she hugged me. I was misty but I kept the weepiness mostly to myself. Marley's understanding and thoughtfulness is a joy to me.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Good morning

Saturday morning, after a Friday night when I stayed up late; my kids are asleep but I'm awake because the great acoustics afforded by the valley of my backyard and someone's toddler who is having a tantrum. I made a lackluster attempt to fall back asleep but have up. So now I'd be cranky except I'm recognizing that I'm starting to get to a point in my life my dad told me would eventually happen when I was little. The point where you don't need as much sleep. Except I'm thinking it's possible he might have been talking about that happening when I was an older teenager (and not a growing child) and not when I was thirty one.

I remember feeling really excited about the freedom that less sleep would afford me. I guess so I could blog with only half my vocabulary working while listening to the morning birds. It's pretty good.

Baby steps.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Goings on

"Wait a second. I'm going to write a book." -Marley

Last night I was sure I had closed the childproof door to the bathroom when I went to take a shower. But Sage has raptor skills and silently opened the door and very not silently ripped the shower curtain open yelling "MOMMY, YOU POOPING?!"

I still have not recovered. And for the record, I wasn't.

Sage loves to declare that Solo is "best friend!"
And then she runs to him. "HUGGY TIME!!!"

Marley is so helpful and kind. It makes the moments where she is sullen or short tempered seem so much worse and generally triggers knee jerk yelling from me. Poor kid. Great kid.
It's Wednesday and in the last three days Bob has worked 50 hours. Poor guy. Great guy.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Movement of the people

God's timing. So I too can wait 40 years for the desire of my heart.

(Caleb says to Joshua)"... Moses, the servant of the Lord, sent me from Kadesh Barnea to check out the land. I was 40 years old at that time. I brought back an honest report to him. I told him exactly what I had seen. Several other men of Israel went up with me. What they reported made the hearts of the people melt away in fear. But I followed the Lord my God with my whole heart.  "So on that day Moses took an oath and made a promise to me. He said, 'The land your feet have walked on will be your share. It will be the share of your children forever. That's because you have followed the Lord my God with your whole heart.' (Deuteronomy 1:36)  "The Lord has done just as he promised. He made the promise while Israel was wandering around in the desert. That was 45 years ago. He has kept me alive all of this time. So here I am today, 85 years old! I'm still as strong today as I was the day Moses sent me out. I'm just as able to go out to battle now as I was then.  "So give me this hill country. The Lord promised it to me that day. At that time you yourself heard that the Anakites were living there. You also heard that their cities were large and had high walls. But I'll drive them out, just as the Lord said I would. He will help me do it." "
Joshua 14:7‭-‬12 NIRV

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Previous posts that failed to post

When my kid displays obvious signs of early literacy my mind is just blown. Like when a toddler makes a sentence of intelligible words, a five year old writes a letter, or a 7 year old catches puns in comic strips.

It kills me goods.

Looking across the dining table at my two oldest children who are both wearing shades of blue that happen to match their eyes.

Writing a book that makes me glad, not anxious.

Seeing art are every turn.

Poems coming to mind.

The unexpected and completely delightful company of family.

I was trying to liken God to something in nature. I thought of gold for its rarity and purity, brass, marble, diamonds, dirt and grass, etc. Till I realized that my thoughts were idolatrous. God isn't like these things, He created them.

My husband climbed a volcano.

Friday, May 27, 2016

The mouthes of babes.

We got 15 crickets for Gorbash. I started calling the biggest Jupiter and one cricket crawled under Gorby's butt  and Solo says "that one's Uranus."

"We should give Daddy extra ice cream treats because he has to work all the time and I get summer break and spring break and Christmas break." -Solo
Marley: Today is the best day ever.
Solo: Yesterday was the best day ever.
Marley: Every day is the best day ever.

God can use thoughtless feet in your mouth to do good. In my case, a very good thing.

"Joseph had a dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said to them, "Listen to the dream I had. We were tying up bundles of grain out in the field. Suddenly my bundle rose and stood up straight. Your bundles gathered around my bundle and bowed down to it."  His brothers said to him, "Do you plan to be king over us? Will you really rule over us?" So they hated him even more because of his dream. They didn't like what he had said.  Then Joseph had another dream. He told it to his brothers. "Listen," he said. "I had another dream. This time the sun and moon and 11 stars were bowing down to me."  He told his father as well as his brothers. Then his father objected. He said, "What about this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers really do that? Will we really come and bow down to the ground in front of you?"  His brothers were jealous of him. But his father kept the matter in mind."
Genesis 37:5‭-‬11 NIRV

Saturday, May 21, 2016

The inconstant moon

I will not disparage the bright glory of a moon only almost-full, because I cannot trust the night of the full moon will be clear.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Looking across the dining table at my two oldest children who are both wearing shades of blue that happen to match their eyes.

Writing a book that makes me glad, not anxious.

Seeing art are every turn.

Poems coming to mind.

The unexpected and completely delightful company of family.

I was trying to liken God to something in nature. I thought of gold for its rarity and purity, brass, marble, diamonds, dirt and grass, etc. Till I realized that my thoughts were idolatrous. God isn't like these things, He created them.

My husband climbed a volcano.

Saturday, April 30, 2016


Went on a Winduebridge family vacation to Gatlinburg. The views were incredible, the weather was lovely, the go carts were fast and dangerous. It was great. We enjoyed everything from Passover festivities to footlong corn dogs.


Sage has so many "loveloves" (full size fleece blankets) that she now refers to them by color "da brown wan" "puhpel wan" "pink wan".

And sometimes she wants to carry them all at once. Something I need to get a picture of.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Quotable Winduebridges.

We had an 8am rehearsal for Marley's violin performance. It was in the auditorium at Dater, where the students are congregated before class begins. The chaperones were keeping the unintentional audience quiet while the violinists played their songs. After every song the audience clapped. Sage, Solo and I were sitting to the side and every time the audience clapped, Sage would wait till they tapered off and then loudly yell "Gooo Nonny!"  (go Marley).


Me: "I wish I had a candy factory like Willy Wonka. I've always wanted lickable wallpaper."
Toby: "All wallpaper is lickable."

Katie: I'm going to give this flower to my mommy and say "a pretty flower for a pretty lady." Because she is pretty and because my teacher told me I had to.
Aimee: Every day is 'Favorite Character' for Meme because she always dresses up like her favorite character. Herself.

Bunch of comedians, those Duebs.

Friday, March 25, 2016

To miss understanding.

Humans long for ease and luxury, even at the price of slavery. "This is what I am willing to sacrifice to get the things I want; to be the places I long to go to."

Wherever I go or whatever it is that happens: I suffer from a grievous and pervasive lack of contextual understanding.

I cannot understand what is best because I am always focused on what seems better. I am thankful that God has sent me a helper.
That when I fail me, there is a calmness within that expresses with clarity what I am suffering, to the one who knows best. The one who knows me, because I am His creation.

The people weren't happy about the hard times they were having. The Lord heard what they were saying. It made him burn with anger. Then the Lord sent fire on them. It blazed out among the people. It burned up some of the outer edges of the camp.  The people cried out to Moses. Then he prayed to the Lord. And the fire died down.  Some people who were with them began to long for other food. Again the people of Israel began to cry out. They said, "We wish we had meat to eat. We remember the fish we ate in Egypt. It didn't cost us anything. We also remember the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we've lost all interest in eating. We never see anything but this manna!"  When the dew came down on the camp at night, the manna also came down.  Moses heard people from every family crying. They were sobbing at the entrances to their tents. The Lord burned with hot anger. So Moses became troubled. He asked the Lord, "Why have you brought this trouble on me? Why aren't you pleased with me? Why have you loaded me down with the troubles of all of these people?  "Am I like a mother to them? Are they my children? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms? Do I have to carry them the way a nurse carries a baby? Do I have to carry them to the land you promised? You took an oath and promised the land to their people of long ago.  "Where can I get meat for all of these people? They keep crying out to me. They say, 'Give us meat to eat!' "Is this how you are going to treat me? If you are pleased with me, just put me to death right now. Don't let me live if I have to see myself destroyed anyway."
Numbers 11:1-2, 4-6, 9-13, 15 NIRV

Thursday, March 24, 2016

What it is.

Sometimes love doesn't look the way we think it should or the way we want it to.


Not having the last word.
Leveling up your son's character instead of your own.
Not giving an opinion or advice.
Not pushing for what's "fair".
Maintaining eye contact on a face *just in case* they happen to look up and want to see that you're paying attention.
Being late.
Being early.

... is love.

It's all so confusing and difficult to do in the moment.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Oh my... Sage. Two.

This girl puts me to work and keeps me there.

Her smile though. Incredible.

She had a great twinkle twinkle little star party and she and her siblings and cousins all serenaded us with singing and dancing and violining.

Pickles, tomatoes, cake... Presents... An audience. Pretties (princesses). Her favorite things.

She really loves her grandparents. They're like celebrities. She's such a special and friendly thing. And wild.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Judge not

Jackson : What's your name? I can't remember.

Solomon: Solomon! Don't you remember me from Jackson's birthday party?!

Jackson: I'm Jackson.

Solomon: Oh.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Part One- rough

In the only kingdom there is a town. It is not exceptional, being of no particular significance in regards to time, place, beauty, value, or receptiveness. Moments both raucous and somnolent come and pass. People are, like the town, ordinary. The law of the land is determined by the majority. What is held by most to be true, is. What is held by few is irrelevant at best and illegal at worst.

Yesterday, in this town, a woman in a dirty dress and a red shawl crossed a threshold. The woman was a prostitute. She did not use her body except to secure those things necessary for survival. She was not beautiful, nor proud, and she had many children. Her children were old enough to reason and to walk though not enough to do much work and of poor temeperments besides. No one felt sorry for the foul mouthed children, so no one paid them much attention.

Two days ago she did not find a way to feed her children. Yesterday, the same. She did not find the means to feed her children. Whether she could not or just did not, I do not know. And this woman in the dirty dress and wearing the red shawl crossed the threshold of another woman's house. The other woman was in a back room, tending to some household task, the likes of which is irrelevant. From where the other woman was she could not see the door, nor could the woman in the red shawl see her. All the red-shawl woman saw was bread on the table. So she crossed into the room and seized it.

But the task in the back room had been attended to and the other woman came upon the scene. She plainly saw the red shawl woman stealing her bread. The bread she had intended to cut and feed her and her husband with. She was a practical woman and had bought enough bread for the meal for two. She came upon the red shawl woman in a righteous fury and seized her arms, pulling the bread free and being practical made sure to place it safely on the table before returning to the task of holding the woman who had made to steal her family's bread.

"That's mine and you won't have it!"
"Please! I wanted only to feed my children!"
"And I wanted to feed myself and my husband and so I bought this bread."
They struggled against each other. One to break free and the other to hold on at least long enough to instill a decent sense of shame into the red shawl woman. And  though they struggled hard enough to end up in the street and making a great deal of noise, neither felt shame. Too busy in their struggle, they didn't notice the crowd that tightened around them. From the shouts of indignation and protest from the red shawl woman and the practical woman with the bread the crowd discerned the story.

"Seems to me that it would be a sin to let children starve." A face said to another face.
"And she only had her breakfast a few hours ago and still begrudging those fatherless children a meal." Said a face loud enough so many of the other faces could hear.
"It ought to be a crime, that sort of greediness!" A face yelled.
"Yeah!" A face agreed loudly.
"Yeah!" Many more faces called out.
Two men stepped into the middle of the fight and one pulled the red shawl woman away and the other man pulled the practical woman away. Ending the fight but not the unrest.
"We think you ought to feel ashamed for not feeding those children."
"But... I don't even know this woman and she just..." The practical woman was incredulous at the accusation but was cut off in her denial.
"You have plenty more to eat and look at you, thick in the middle. And this woman in red is a pole. She looks hungry and she has children that are starving." A face said with a tone of disapproving.
"But she..." The practical woman tried but the man who held the woman in the red shawl released her and lifted a hand to stop the flow of her words and said with a gentle voice, "It is the duty of the community to feed the helpless."
"But no one else..."
"I say we kill her!" A face called from the back of the crowd.
"We don't need the depth of her greed in our town!"
"Kill her!"
The man who held the practical woman's arm yanked it even harder behind her back. This man himself had stolen his brother's shovel, when his brother had bought a new one. And somewhere inside him he still wasn't sure it had been right, even though he hadn't had a shovel at all himself before.
"Kill her!" A face called who just that morning seen the starving children in question and had given them an earful because they'd been blocking the pathway and using foul language where just anyone could hear it.
Before the practical woman could offer protest or call out to her husband or to anyone who might save her, the crowd leaned in on her. Some ripping at her hair and some at her dress, causing her harm and showing their disapproval for her greedy behavior.
They started to gather stones to use against her.


Friday, February 5, 2016

Recent doings.

I'm watching: Brooklyn 9-9, Sword Art Online, Grimm.

I'm reading: The Mercy Thompson series.

I'm working on: a faerie terrarium light.. Thing...

I'm reading through Exodus again.

Bob is playing poker and constantly working on growing the business where he works.  The Superbowl is at hand.

Solo is playing basketball and doing gymnastics and playing Guild Wars 2 with me.

Marley is working on violin and doing gymnastics and loves to go outside, whatever the weather.

Sage continues to be the cutest and peskiest pixie of all time.  She loves "pretties" (princesses), singing twinkle twinkle, watching Wishenpoof. 

Murphy is mad at me because I moved his couch.
Lulu loves me no matter what I do.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Yup dates

If I was a vehicle, I'd be one of those pickup trucks that only look better with rust on them.

A gentle spirit is an arduous uphill climb towards letting go.  And I can't help but picture sledding now that I've typed that.

Sage is coming around.  Slowly. 

All it takes is perspective to make a 50 degree day in January finer than any day in summer.

"Suppose you are offering your gift at the altar. And you remember that your brother has something against you. Leave your gift in front of the altar. First go and make peace with your brother. Then come back and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23-24 NIRV

Thursday, January 28, 2016


The future of my life and the lives  associated with mine are known to God.  He has had a plan for me since long before my ancestors were born.  Before my  birth He knew my weaknesses and the dates and times of each of my future transgressions.  Even knowing these He orchestrated my birth, created me specifically. He did not destroy me because I was flawed, He accounted for it in His plan.  My flaws will not prevent His grace nor change the final result. 

I am instructed to have faith in these facts.
I am instructed to believe and count on His faithfulness.  My plans should be made with regard to the firm belief that He keeps His promises.

Joseph made the sons of Israel take an oath and make a promise to him. He said, "I'm sure that God will come to help you. Then you must carry my bones up from this place."
Genesis 50:25 NIRV

"... The Lord will fight for you. Just be still."
Exodus 14:14 NIRV

Monday, January 25, 2016

Solo had a dream too.

And apparently it is riding a unicorn.

Sunday, January 24, 2016


When reading about Moses and the plagues in Egypt I felt like I could relate to the Pharaoh as he went back and forth with Aaron. 

"Yes, I'll let you go.  Just get rid of these frogs... Oh the frogs are gone...  on second thought..."

I do that.  The resolutions I make as I lay in bed at night sound righteous, but when morning comes and the sun is shining before my promises are even acted upon and the reality of the work is before me...


Wednesday, January 6, 2016


On several fronts of my life I have been recently confronted by the realization that I'm not capable, nor will I have time, to do everything.  Probably, most people don't have to realize this.  I guess I didn't really need to either, but I feel like I did. Bob is capable of business venturing that I am not, Marley is beginning to be beyond my skill in violin.  I could try to keep up, probably be successful, but at the cost of other things.  It brings my role as a support person into perspective.  In You've Got Mail (a movie I watch every year around Christmas, I don't know why) the character Kathleen Kelly says that she  "lives a small life. Small but valuable." That is how I feel.

It's a humbling and good feeling.