Saturday, June 24, 2017
My low/angry points in my hormone cycle essentially boil down to my hormones getting the best of my sense of humor.
I'm getting better at connecting to the natural world around me. This is because my head is out of my own butt most of the time and I'm taking the time to stay in one place. Taking the time to fall in love.
If the human race would all agree to stop with the constant showering and soaping we would all be a lot more human to each other and mind it a whole lot less.
I don't like having my base reality disrupted. It's easier to bear when it is for my children or a very fun activity. Even then it puts me well off balance for a long time. Like I need to reset, which is accomplished by not being disrupted for awhile. This sounds like I'm describing basic introversion but I don't think that's it. Socializing with random persons who fit inside my base reality is joyful for me. I want to talk to people in my neighborhood, in my ymca, in my grocery store, in my church. I'm not always good at it, but I like it and it doesn't disrupt me. It's going to a different neighborhood, a different ymca, a different grocery store (I shudder at that one) that I dislike.
Guess I'm a status quo homebody with classic human control issues. I'm hoping that more aging will bring with it more wisdom and I will get over this need to control.
Marley picked up a printed portion of my blog last week, it was written around the time she was 1, she read a bit and said, "This is hilarious." I told her she could read it all when she was 18.
Saturday, June 17, 2017
I know this is a parallel of what God has done for each believer through Jesus. But sometimes I forget that I'm not a Hebrew in the Promised Land. I'm in the desert. This isn't my final destination. I am walking with my family, free from slavery but not free from life's harms.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
We are finishing up two weeks of no scheduled activities. It was wonderful.
Back to "work". Which is also a joy.
Saturday, May 20, 2017
I am more capable of love now than before I was married or when I was first married. 10 years together with Bob and I am only now in the last couple years beginning to feel the ACTUAL meaning of love. As I realize that love isn't something that just happens but is something you choose, it actually feels even more unbreakable, more unflappable as a choice than it did as something inevitable or inescapable.
When love was happening to me it felt like something intangible and impossible to hold on to. But now I choose to love Bob and I know that it is my decisions and my reactions that determine my love for him. Not his decisions or actions and not predestination.
I'm thankful for Jesus' example, for the gift of faith and how it has taught me better to love Bob. I am thankful to my parents for their example. Love in an imperfect world with two imperfect people as an echo of the perfect love from a perfect God.
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Though their bodies of work would indicate that they were both post-impressionists (or cubist) painters they are Mexican painters. Is this a huge outrage? No. They ARE Mexican painters and both bodies of work were very important to their time and their country. It is a tiny symptom of the larger problem of unequal treatment. Equal treatment is of course, impossible, however, should be treated carefully, especially if you have one of the top three google search results.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
While the kids were away at the Duebs, Vegas the Crested Gecko decided it was time to lay her first clutch. The kids and I were in the "sleeping room" this morning when I spotted the eggs sticking out of the substrate in the nesting box. So pleased! Perfect white ovals. In 80-130 days we will see how it goes. ;)
We are working on a multiple step project at the Winslow Manse. Moving Marley and Solo into the third floor bedrooms. I'm not ready emotionally. I know I'm lame, I'm still letting them. Is it weird that I'm feeling extra crazy about window safety? Shouldn't I be crazy about the second floor windows too?
Sage (thoughtfully): red means stop and green means go!
Me: that's right Sage. Good.
Sage (yelling): So no cows running in the street!
Marley: Um Sage I think you're tired.
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Meg: Let's talk about that.
Solomon: Like at night when I wake up and I need to go to the bathroom and I come downstairs and everyone else is asleep and I go to the bathroom and I don't know if I should flush or not because it might wake people up.
Me: ... neither of those are sin. In fact it probably pleases God that you are thinking about other people's needs.
Solomon: *look of deep relief*
Me: This is why we read our bible... Erm... one reason.
Sage comes around the corner from her room into mine and starts crawling into my bed.
Me: What are you doing?
Sage: Coming to cuddle you.
She hunkers down between Bob and I and a few minutes pass. She lifts up her head suddenly and says, "Let's go to my room. Daddy is too loud."
I'm not sure why his snoring doesn't bother me but I'm thankful it doesn't! Sleeping with Sage is dangerous due to all the elbows and headbutting.
Sage wants to be Catboy from PJ Masks but her favorite super hero move is "Owl wind".
She wants to play trumpet like "my bwudduh Sodo.".
She loves to tell people about her day even if it's her day from last week.
She likes to have control and order and to understand the order.
She will taste anything once and maybe twice if we tell her not to.
Her birthday was a week and a half ago and she kept telling everyone it was birthday. We kept correcting her and now she's telling people, "My birthday is over. I'm having another one in an hour." Except she means in a year.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
I feel sad. I don't want to talk about with anyone because my happiness far outweighs my sadness and I know I'm being silly. I don't take rejection or meanness well. I really don't. Maybe because I don't get it pointed at me very much, maybe because I'm sensitive at times or to certain types of people. Meanness makes me want to quit. Even though I know the meanness is wrong. Other people have feelings and they hear you, even if you're not using words.
You don't have to be fake nice and insincere, just try not to be mean. Jeez.
Yes, yes, yes. The meager suffering of my heart today is not for nothing. It teaches. The humility it gives, the lessons it drives home. It isn't for nothing. Even petty meanness can be used by God for the enrichment of His people. So that they can be enriching to their surroundings. Not static, not bitter. God makes us better, suffering is not for nothing.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
I needed to bring the substrate high enough so that it would be more in line with the view-able area (as in the glass areas). That way if the geckos were on the floor of the enclosure, they would be visible if I were sitting nearby. I needed lighting and I needed to decorate it in a way that provided multiple horizontal and vertical perches. Multiple geckos means you need to provide multiple places of safety or they might compete or fail to thrive in general.
I considered painting a mural and decided not to because it would be a pain to seal it enough to resist the daily water misting my pets require. I considered a few other options: fabric, tapestry, yarn streamers (they look very cool if you use thick yarn in a natural bamboo-like color). Then I went to the bathroom and BEHOLD! My shower curtain. My tacky-but-who-cares shower curtain depicting a photograph of a jungle scene. Perfect. Waterproof, easy, jungle-tastic. Like a scene straight from New Caledonia. Of course I had to replace my shower curtain in case I decided to shower sometime.
When using great stuff as a substrate you can use it to anchor your structural elements (like limbs) if they are not too heavy.
What I used:three large cans of Great Stuff, a serrated steak knife that I use for crafts, a thick plastic drinking cup.
I also stuck three dried limbs into the foam to serve as trees. (Only two pictured). I jammed the third one in after the foam had dried.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Some times kids are really good at playing together in make believe games and sometimes they're not. Some times they stop pretending themselves and just tell the other people to do all the pretending for them.
During those make believe games, playing becomes more like lazy, displaced, thinly veiled bragging. Most of those such games I witness or listen to contain one or more of the following themes (even if the exact wording is a little different):
A. "Pretend that I was the most awesome at what we are about to pretend to do and that you didn't know and that when we do do what we're going to do you are visibly surprised and delighted with how awesome I am."
B. "Pretend you think that I died and that you're VERY sorry that I'm dead. But I'm not dead."
C. "Pretend there were werewolves/volcanoes/snakes/pirates/parents/wizards and that I saved you and you're grateful."
D. "Pretend that you underestimated me and then I greatly exceeded your expectations and everyone else's too... by a lot."
E. "Pretend that I hadn't eaten in several weeks and I was very hungry and bearing it with great stoicism despite my obvious discomfort. And you had loads of food the whole time and upon realizing the tragic unfairness you attempt to feed me some of your food." (Usually followed by theme B.)
F. "Pretend I killed you."
G. "Pretend my muscles bulge a great deal when I move even slightly."
H. Pretend that everyone can't stop thinking about how preternaturally gifted/strong/accurate/pretty I am.
There are more. So many more. But that's all I have for now.