Sunday, January 8, 2017

Kid games

Some times kids are really good at playing together in make believe games and sometimes they're not. Some times they stop pretending themselves and just tell the other people to do all the pretending for them.

During those make believe games, playing becomes more like lazy, displaced, thinly veiled bragging. Most of those such games I witness or listen to contain one or more of the following themes (even if the exact wording is a little different):

A. "Pretend that I was the most awesome at what we are about to pretend to do and that you didn't know and that when we do do what we're going to do you are visibly surprised and delighted with how awesome I am."

B.  "Pretend you think that I died and that you're VERY sorry that I'm dead. But I'm not dead."

C. "Pretend there were werewolves/volcanoes/snakes/pirates/parents/wizards and that I saved you and you're grateful."

D. "Pretend that you underestimated me and then I greatly exceeded your expectations and everyone else's too... by a lot."

E. "Pretend that I hadn't eaten in several weeks and I was very hungry and bearing it with great stoicism despite my obvious discomfort. And you had loads of food the whole time and upon realizing the tragic unfairness you attempt to feed me some of your food." (Usually followed by theme B.)

F. "Pretend I killed you."

G. "Pretend my muscles bulge a great deal when I move even slightly."

H. Pretend that everyone can't stop thinking about how preternaturally gifted/strong/accurate/pretty I am.

There are more. So many more. But that's all I have for now.

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