Saturday, May 20, 2017

Falling out of love

I use to think falling out of love was actually real. Before the understanding of what love actually is and that I can only choose to stop being in love; choose to stop acting in love if someone stops acting lovable. Which I think everyone stops acting lovable, at least every once in awhile, at least temporarily.

I am more capable of love now than before I was married or when I was first married. 10 years together with Bob and I am only now in the last couple years beginning to feel the ACTUAL meaning of love. As I realize that love isn't something that just happens but is something you choose, it actually feels even more unbreakable, more unflappable as a choice than it did as something inevitable or inescapable.

When love was happening to me it felt like something intangible and impossible to hold on to. But now I choose to love Bob and I know that it is my decisions and my reactions that determine my love for him. Not his decisions or actions and not predestination.

I'm thankful for Jesus' example, for the gift of faith and how it has taught me better to love Bob. I am thankful to my parents for their example. Love in an imperfect world with two imperfect people as an echo of the perfect love from a perfect God.